Love: Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin"....

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 123

You deserved it 36 226

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Same thing different taste

By muffingirl - 10/02/2010 12:30 - United Kingdom

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 798

You deserved it 8 148

The Conquest of Bread

By Anonymous - 26/04/2021 11:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 252

By C. Kronick - 11/02/2009 05:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started affectionately calling me "Burt Reynolds" because I wax my upper lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 916

You deserved it 5 458

By rosabelle91 - 17/06/2012 14:58 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 424

You deserved it 14 785

By Jaided_Genetics - 17/08/2016 04:20 - Canada - Kingston

Today, I finally addressed why my boyfriend started calling me "love bug" since we haven't used pet names in the entirety of our 2 year relationship. His response? "because I love you but you bug the shit out of me. It seemed appropriate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 506

You deserved it 2 667

By Anonymous - 28/05/2017 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 856

You deserved it 1 776

By Djcc - 21/02/2012 18:03 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 981

You deserved it 7 102

Yummy

By Cupcakes - 15/04/2013 05:11 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 651

You deserved it 53 740

By Lucachoo - 26/07/2015 00:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow. His reaction was to pick up a banana and pretend that he was in the middle of a phone call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 371

You deserved it 2 644

By Pita - 04/12/2010 20:35 - United States

Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 365

You deserved it 6 574

thefranks 0

Thursday 4 November 2010 23:50

ahhh makin love in the bakery

KingDingALing 9

Thursday 4 November 2010 23:53

Ask him if you can call him "needle dick".

Comments

banananut 0

Friday 5 November 2010 10:24

Now you can call him "single muffin" Aww :)

banananut 0

Friday 5 November 2010 10:24

Now you can call him "single muffin" Aww :)

banananut 0

Friday 5 November 2010 10:24

Now you can call him "single muffin" Aww :)

celinepink 0

Friday 5 November 2010 12:03

ahahhahah thats a good one xD

Gazarok 0

Friday 5 November 2010 14:28

way too much thought and effort into that one #37. tl;dr

sergeantsarcasm2 0

Friday 5 November 2010 14:35

YDI, kind of set yourself up for that one. :)

just4funbalt 0

Friday 5 November 2010 15:00

that's cute!

aliceharper 0

Friday 5 November 2010 19:02

LMAO!!! u have to admit that's a preeeetty good answer hahahaha

Kehaulani1994 0

Friday 5 November 2010 19:26

gotta love the muffin tops ;). and at least u ain't a stik. ur bf is funny ha. keep him lol

danceforlife1999 0

Friday 5 November 2010 20:17

ya see. that is why some people should keep their thoughts like that to themselves.

Keywords

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 185

Today, I had sex with someone new for the first time after my 10 year relationship ended. The person was a friend who had been making serious sexual references toward me on and off over the year I've known him. I don't know if I'm more embarrassed that he couldn't keep it up, or that I came from anticipation anyways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 281

The Top

Today, I came back from my prom and no one was home. I took off my dress, panties, and bra, grabbed the cake I'm not supposed to eat, and went to watch Walking Dead in the living room. My family was there already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 819

You deserved it 5 200

Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 774

You deserved it 810

Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 390

You deserved it 3 265

Today, my boyfriend told me he hoped I don’t get pregnant because he’d hate to have to dump me to escape fatherhood. Thinking he was making an insensitive joke about my single pregnant sister, I asked how many women he dumped for falling pregnant. He looked me dead in the eye and said, "Four." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 241

You deserved it 206

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 934

You deserved it 4 511

Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave, which flashes "Enjoy your meal" when it finishes cooking something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 651

You deserved it 3 830

Same thing different taste

The Conquest of Bread

Yummy

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