Love: Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with,... - FML

By Anonymous - 26/12/2013 17:27 - United States - Bessemer

Spicy

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 647

You deserved it 5 813

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Same thing different taste

How d'you think?

By Anonymous - 02/04/2020 02:00

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 630

You deserved it 176

By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 02:13 - United States - Herndon

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 012

You deserved it 9 445

By wow - 15/04/2013 18:36 - Russian Federation - Saint Petersburg

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 944

You deserved it 6 734

By Anonymous - 12/04/2014 05:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 904

You deserved it 8 410

Not so funny after all

By oops - 21/09/2013 01:30 - United States - Wichita Falls

Spicy

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 454

You deserved it 7 125

Big kid

By Anonymous - 08/09/2012 14:20 - United States - Rhodes

Spicy

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 369

You deserved it 5 707

By ananomus - 22/08/2010 04:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 190

You deserved it 5 902

By wifeofafainter - 24/09/2015 06:31 - United States - Bronx

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 413

You deserved it 3 070

By Quiteannoyed - 09/03/2013 10:35 - Finland

Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 227

You deserved it 2 898

By U_U - 20/10/2013 19:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 077

You deserved it 5 125

Next

Top comments

macystar 14

Thursday 26 December 2013 23:57

Well then. It could have been worse.

DeoVolente 13

Thursday 26 December 2013 23:59

"When this one stops" ~kicks in nuts~

Comments

peanutbrat 11

Saturday 28 December 2013 4:20

You had to have known how immature he was if you married him.

dachayke 16

Saturday 28 December 2013 6:39

Get over it

Tannasgh 22

Saturday 28 December 2013 6:53

Hope you don't have a boy. Not much of a role model...

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 28 December 2013 7:38

Well, at least he's not mad/unhappy about it. Surely you knew how immature he was before marrying him/sleeping with him, though. If it bothers you now, well, I guess you're SOL. Congrats on the pregnancy though!

legalizenow 16

Saturday 28 December 2013 13:00

Well, when? :D

elvirakwow 16

Sunday 29 December 2013 3:58

That's just awesome.

Duh_0811 17

Sunday 29 December 2013 4:50

love love love the booby milk ♡

Pilos_in_manu_fml 7

Monday 30 December 2013 13:50

BEST. REACTION. EVER... Not.

chelsea_liz 6

Monday 30 December 2013 20:23

Unfortunate reaction... but I had fun re-reading it with an Alabama accent :)

mlto17 3

Friday 10 January 2014 9:38

Watch out they are about to get WAY sore and sensitive. I started pinching my husbands nipples when he would hurt mine, he got smart fast.

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The Top

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 409

You deserved it 2 826

Today, I told my husband to stop his friendship with our neighbor’s 17 year-old daughter. They claim they just play video games together, but lately he’s been uninterested in sex and barely shows me any affection. He vehemently said, “It’s not like we’re fucking or anything! Chill!” and stormed out of the house. FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 2 567

Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 935

You deserved it 3 417

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 594

You deserved it 4 197

Today, I'm waiting for the second evaluator to accept my master's thesis so I can graduate. If my grade isn't submitted by the end of the week, my credits will expire, which will have consequences for my job. The evaluator is the same woman who graded essays from the beginning of the college year at the end of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 94

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 531

You deserved it 13 633

Today, during an Easter egg hunt, I found divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 744

You deserved it 2 816