Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML
Today, when my boyfriend came home, I was crying and told him I was pregnant. His immediate response was, "Awesome! Pregnant girls are always horny and we won't need protection for the next few months!" FML
Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML
Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML
Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML
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Top comments
macystar 14
Well then. It could have been worse.
DeoVolente 13
"When this one stops" ~kicks in nuts~
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Comments (87)
perdix 31
When you're ready, I've heard there are people who make breast-milk cheese. C'mon, the fetus won't miss it!
JtPv 14
...That's illegal... I think.
Kain713 14
No, it's not. It's weird, but there are no laws against it.
perdix 31
#17, if so, it would be impossible to enforce for personal use. I'm sure it would be illegal to sell, which is too bad, because the commercials would be fantastic!!
gracehi 33
I actually have wondered what human cheese would be like...
noobienick 19
The fetus? And here I thought the baby nursed AFTER it was born...
Dodge4x4Ram 46
honk honk
Calingaladha 21
It probably wasn't his breast idea.
KillSwitch96 18
No... Tit probably wasn't!
emxy92 22
And at least it's a somewhat enthusiastic response!
zoegirl_455 30
What a fun story to look back on and share with your family! "Ah yes when he found out we would soon be a family he was just so happy he.."
EvilLittleMan 23
Give your Man Child of a husband a facial.
skittyskatbrat 19
My husband has already been warned that I consider them future water guns. Slap his hand and tell him that they are for the baby, and he doesn't get to play with them again until the baby is done using them.
Retrokitty 9
At least he was somewhat excited for you to be pregnant.
oneofthosegirls_fml 11
Sometimes guys act a little awkward when they're shocked like that.
dreadbeat69 12
That's awesome