Today, my mom continued her search for a special, super-healthy laundry detergent that she knows makes me break out in hives. FML

Today, I found out that my mom uses my incredibly expensive conditioner to wash her two dogs every single weekend. No wonder they smell so good. FML

The smell detective is on the case

Today, something smelled absolutely disgusting in the bathroom. Like cow shit and stinky beetles. I started sniffing around, because whatever it was, I had to find it and clean it up. That, however, proved difficult, because it turned out that smell was coming from the new soap my mom had bought. FML

Today, my mum got the idea of switching to a different dishwashing detergent. The new one is so strong that it coats all the dishes in a nauseating perfume-like smell. It's so pungent that it gets absorbed into everything we eat or drink. She's determined to use up the entire bottle. FML

Stinky

Today, while applying deodorant, my mom came up behind me slapped the stick out of my hand, and confiscated it, saying, “No one needs deodorant when it’s this cold.” At work, I got so many complaints about my B.O that I was sent home to go take a shower. I shower every single day. FML

Contagion

Today, my mother chewed me out for not wearing deodorant and smelling of B.O. I was wearing plenty of deodorant. My shirt just smelled like my boyfriend, whom I'd been cuddling with earlier. FML

Febreze

Today, my mom yelled at me because even though I shower thoroughly twice a day, I still stink. My mom showers once a week, never wears deodorant, and smells like roses. FML

Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML

You tried!

Today, my mom, not gifted for household chores, proudly announced that she cleaned the toilet. As it turns out, what she'd primarily cleaned was the deodorizer inside the toilet. Then she tried for the stains inside the bowl, unsuccessfully, then she gave up. But yeah, great job. FML

Today, I discovered that my mom bought roll on stick glue that looks quite a bit like deodorant. It was early in the morning and I was groggy. Long story short, I had to cut every one of my pit hairs. FML