Today, I am exhausted and can barely move after being up all night taking care of my drunk and vomiting husband. He, on the other hand, feels much better and is bounding with energy. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I asked my husband if he could please get the kids up and ready for school, since I’d been up all night with the stomach flu from hell. He said no, that he was too tired because my getting up all night kept him awake. I’m so weak from dehydration and exhaustion I can barely move. FML
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML
Today, I finished a full marathon and just wanted to relax and get pampered by my husband afterwards. Instead, I spent the evening taking care of him and his back because he had a spasm. Don't worry, he feels much better now. Meanwhile, I can’t move my legs. FML
Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML
Today, my husband is miserable. He couldn't sleep. He tried to make me feel bad for sleeping through the night. I was medicated from a brain scan. His is work is horrible, and no one understands, etc. He's mad that I took a walk. Now, as I am frustrated and crying, he is laughing on the phone with his coworkers. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML
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Top comments
kevsnev 7
Well he better appreciate your help because you sound like a wonderful woman!
HairyPunisher 27
Just because he's her husband doesn't mean they have children.
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Comments (95)
baseballgirl25 6
Time for you to have a girls night out, go ahead and get a little crazy.
LonelyApple 11
Paybacks a bitch. Nuff said.
bmkc4 1
I'm pretty sure if they both start drinking it would not solve any problems
kimberlymalena 4
Story of my life
xxcloboxx 1
Atleast next time you can go out and get wasted and he can pick up the pieces :)
afropuffjake 9
You're a ******* gem darling keep it up I'm sure he'll repay you first chance he gets :-D
grnfairy 5
Sweetie that's what u signed up for when u married that person. Deal with it and quit ur bitching. I'm sure he done the same for you on more then one occasion
Mademoiselle_fml 34
I'm sure he appreciates you. Hopefully he does the same for you when you need help ;3
jaredofmo 22
Now it's his turn to take care of you!
penguindude82 2
Go puke on him. It will make you feel better.