Today, I actually heard my 14 year-old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I let my 19-year-old son drive my Lexus to his date. At 11:00 p.m., I watched him pull into the driveway with a broken taillight, marks and scratches all over the car, the front bumper missing, and him being nearly passed out because he's so drunk. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son was waiting in the car for me after driving around to build up hours for his permit. He then decided it was a good idea to quickly drive over to catch a Pokemon nearby. He didn't count on getting pulled over for texting and driving while underage without an adult though. FML
Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
Today, thanks to Grand Theft Auto, I found myself seriously thinking about holding up an armored bank truck when I saw it in traffic. FML
Today, I picked up my idiot 20 year-old son from a party. He was shit-faced drunk and managed to drop his vape out the window as I was driving. He tried to open the door of the moving car to get out and look for it, and I had to grab him and pull him back in. Legally, this moron is an adult. FML
Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
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Top comments
docscientist 10
The influence of things on stupid people.
Cmliedtke 0
just about every teenager I know has been playing M games since they were like 10... I guarantee you 85% of all Call of Duty players are below 18..-_-
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Comments (274)
xPOPTARTx 0
ha
SnailJamsss 6
You're a dumb mother. ha.
bzett 0
I bet he does good in school!
littledrummerboy_fml 0
your fault for lettin him play
CitrusGirl 0
It all depends on your looks. I'm 18, but I'be been told I look like i'm 14. I always get carded for everything.
Tkao96 0
123. is that because you're a prostitute? or because you just have your masturbation toys laying around in random places?
every1luvsvag 10
I like to drink right before going to a funpark. It makes the go-carts way more fun...
Kyze_Ninja 10
It's actually safer to drive drunk than it is to drive tired. Mythbusters Approved!
every1luvsvag 10
Allow me to correct the original post. "Is he also out beating hookers?"
chickenfriedCG 0
193 while it would allow him to learn his lesson, drunk driving Is extremely dangerous and could result in death to him or others so that is a terrible idea.