Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I wore noise-canceling headphones while cleaning my apartment. Apparently I'd been singing at the top of my lungs for nearly an hour, because my neighbor knocked on my door just to ask if everything was OK. FML
Today, my neighbor had a word with me for being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action for two years now, but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML
Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my neighbor begging me to please shut the hell up. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Today, I was alone in the kitchen doing the dishes, and I started singing along to my favorite song when it came on my playlist. However, unbeknownst to me, my neighbors were having a barbecue next door, and they cheered and applauded when I'd finished. I’m never singing again. FML
Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I finally had some alone time to relax and watch a movie. As soon as I pressed play, my neighbor started blasting their music so loud I could feel the bass in my chest. I tried calling the landlord, but they didn't answer. I ended up watching the movie with subtitles while listening to my neighbor's music. FML
Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML
Today, I was home alone, blasting music, dancing in my underwear, singing into a wooden spoon. I turned around mid-performance to see my landlord standing in the kitchen. I’d forgotten about the maintenance appointment I'd scheduled. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
afdude87 6
haha wonder how long you've lived there...
Ranimal 12
What gave you the idea that it was sound proof? The lack of complaints? Maybe the yawn was a sign that you need to spice up the vibrator show, just saying.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (117)
emodude44 0
I bet OP's a screamer. haha.
Buchitoo 4
Lmao!!! A zombie in menopause!!! Lol that was funny!!!
fmluserguy 0
nice boobs
Dmars444 4
dude?! nah you don't say that!
BWill9014 4
I agree you do have nice boobs
xmarkstheheart 0
You totally deserve it because, clearly, your apartment is NOT sound-proof! Who the hell has a "sound-proof" apartment, anyway?? Serial killers, maybe. It was really dumb of you to presume that it was, and what the f made you think that? As others have noted, what probably happened was that your neighbor is at work during the day, and then at night he/she...HAS SOME BASIC RESPECT FOR OTHERS, unlike your loud ass!
fiveonefiveoh 0
stop being a bitter ass jerk
Snickahs 0
Kinki* I spellz how I want!
Jester7 0
call me?
CakeBaker11 0
I like your corn snake, is it popcorn or an albino? I had four.
Boioi 0
Haha, at least you know that your apartment is not sound proof now. Seeing your neighbors next time might be a bit awkward because of some vibrator sounds and probably of your moaning, but yeah, don't care too much about it. Most people do **********, so it's no big deal.
Snickahs 0
Most zomies ********** as well. **** starz beware!!
enoughgrace 4
politicians mass debate also.
Snickahs 0
Zombies* now that was a typo ;)
stophate 0
Who cares! It sounds like you had fun. Own it!
ZombiesRock 0
lmao!! well now instead of playing with the vibrator you can invite your neighbor over.
InnocentLies 0
No because then you'd have to lie about the noises. Viberator sounds more fun. :))