Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I wore noise-canceling headphones while cleaning my apartment. Apparently I'd been singing at the top of my lungs for nearly an hour, because my neighbor knocked on my door just to ask if everything was OK. FML
Today, my neighbor had a word with me for being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action for two years now, but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML
Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my neighbor begging me to please shut the hell up. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Today, I was alone in the kitchen doing the dishes, and I started singing along to my favorite song when it came on my playlist. However, unbeknownst to me, my neighbors were having a barbecue next door, and they cheered and applauded when I'd finished. I’m never singing again. FML
Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I finally had some alone time to relax and watch a movie. As soon as I pressed play, my neighbor started blasting their music so loud I could feel the bass in my chest. I tried calling the landlord, but they didn't answer. I ended up watching the movie with subtitles while listening to my neighbor's music. FML
Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML
Today, I was home alone, blasting music, dancing in my underwear, singing into a wooden spoon. I turned around mid-performance to see my landlord standing in the kitchen. I’d forgotten about the maintenance appointment I'd scheduled. FML
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Top comments
afdude87 6
haha wonder how long you've lived there...
Ranimal 12
What gave you the idea that it was sound proof? The lack of complaints? Maybe the yawn was a sign that you need to spice up the vibrator show, just saying.
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Comments (117)
Drummer_duck 0
you always use your vibrator when you're alone?
xShannonxSammyx 7
Stop being an oblivious, obnoxious bitch then. Problem solved.
skyeyez9 25
Do you sound like a barking seal when you ******?
starfuryt550 3
hahaha you're awesome. call me, I have $5 with your name on it
emjay09 0
note to your obviously thick head. have you ever been in a seemingly sound proof apartment? cause I sure as he'll have not. ydi, especially for the vibrator. get a job, life and boyfriend.
chokolatecandie1 6
haha i guess it WAS sound proof after all.....
sadaffy 0
hahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahhahahahhhhahahhahahahhhahahhahahahhqhqhqhhahahahhahahhhahahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhhaFAIL ,lol, I can't stop laughing :D
Confruzzled 10
there's no such thing as a sound-proof apartment if the rent isnt ridiculously high.
samanthasantini 0
You could have left the vibrater part out. 0___o
latinfeb1221 0
hahaha!! I just realized that about my apartment last week! No more crazy sex parties!