Don't bug out. You're clearly the superior man.

Get a wire mesh covering all your windows.And you are clearly the manly man over here.GL OP

He's the Alpha, I'll get the salt..

Get a bug zapper and call it a day?

They must be pretty bugged about the fact they cant even use a flyswatter.

Bug-A-Salt

Those really do the trick. There hasn't been a bug yet that has withstood the power of the Bug-A-Salt at my home. I blasted a wasp just yesterday with it and watched it nose dive into the floor. This comment shouldn't be down-voted. The Bug-A-Salt is a valid method of getting rid of bugs at a distance for people who may fear them.

Everyone's manly until the spider moves.

This sounds like it would be an old Chinese-American proverb.

unless they are super old no reason for them to be there anymore throw em out

Im sure that bugs you a lot

Bugs are no joke OP. I can understand their crippling fear.