Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML
Today, for the first time, I made a guy get a boner and make out with me. This would've been great if it hadn't been a dream, and if the guy in question hadn't been my brother. FML
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML
Today, I went on a second date with a girl that I like and had a really good time while with her. We got pretty drunk and then went back to mine. When things started to get sexy, I accidentally called her by her sister's name. A girl I don’t even know. FML
Today, at 19 years of age, I finally saw a nude girl in real life. Specifically, my sister. FML
Today, I told my ex I was going to bed after a few drinks, and she ended up fucking my brother while I was asleep. What an awakening to hear. FML
Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML
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Top comments
KayDee29 31
I believe she incests on you performing unspeakable acts. I would just avoid her for a few years.
lostinareverie 21
Better a drunk text to you than some sleazy guy who would take advantage and such.
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Comments (147)
AndyPurdy 31
avoid her
stupidity99 16
Oh dear
wazzup206 7
Op run to the hills it be an awkward family reunion
chucksfriday 21
Just pretend your In game of thrones
viper8608 9
wincest
WistayShlaio 3
They say, when someone is drunk their true self comes out. Please be careful
fastnachter 15
Drunk words are sober thoughts...
Gillett 23
Look homie, next time you see her tell her that her message wouldn't download, that way it would relieve that awkward tension between you two! At least for her that is! Sorry OP.
ToxicTyrael 26
Actually the best advice yet.
FrostyNipz19 12
That's gross dude
zaffyzak 4
Ew incest