Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I beat my old college friend at CoD and mocked him vigorously, to which he replied, “Don’t feel bad for me, I have a hot wife, a baby on the way, and a house I paid off by selling my business. How are you?” I… won a video game. FML
Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML
Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with a broken finger, all because I beat my little brother in a Wii game. He ran over and twisted my finger, saying, "Now how are you going to beat me, cunt?" FML
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
Today, my 16-year-old brother once again scored well at a local archery competition. He got home and, once again, unleashed his "spectacular aim" at the toilet - or rather the toilet seat and surrounding floor. He refuses to clean the bathroom we share every single time he does this. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" in a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML
Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML
Today, my friend beat me at a video game. He got smug, so I made an "I fucked your mom" style joke. Yeah, kina forgot for a minute that his mom died last year. FML
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Top comments
DrDilllonReese 12
Cats are slowly replacing dogs as the new killstreak
davymac718 4
Payback is a bitch... Well in this case a pussy!
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Comments (268)
RomoniReed 6
I literally laughed out loud, on the bus. Now, people are looking at me as if I'm on drugs.
lolman222 0
You and me both... Awkward...
ebxr82nv 2
That's some funny shit. Does your brother know it wasn't real life? Pull the plug on him and get him back to reality.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Yea this was placed under the wrong comment. My bad bro, we cool?
Wynthos 2
YDI for being out of place. A woman playing videogames... Whoever heard of such nonsense?
BellaBelle_fml 23
Where does it say OP is a woman? Even if OP is a woman, there is nothing wrong with women playing video games. In fact, most guys would love to have a girlfriend/wife that likes to play video games.
isitinmybedroom 11
umm he never said anything about op being a woman...
coltsrock37 15
your now shredded skin folds will attract the women nicely
mrahhhhh 21
Scream out "ROLLING THUNDER!" and throw a bunch of small objects on him after your shower. Then knock him to the floor, and teabag him :) . Also, what the hell, is your brother 12? Sounds like something one of those stupid squeakers online would do if you met them in real life.
slyace 9
War is tough man. But a wet pissed off cat clawing your back is just funny as hell lol fml
FYLDeep 26
So what are you going to do to get him back? I imagine he just threw a house cat at you, which as far as cats go is pretty tame. I'd suggest you lock a tiger inside the bathroom with him.
Omfgitsmia 15
I laughed so hard at this that I peed a little. Furry grenade from hell made it so much funnier.
Jamicianprince 1
I am laughing my ass off but sorry
signuplogin 1
Fyl but tht ****** hilarious :) but I'm like u I get so excited when I beat someone in a video game