By heartbroken - 09/09/2013 07:19 - United States - Cupertino
Add a comment - Reply to : #
My cousin was dating a guy two years ago who admitted he was using her because he could not "get anything better" at the time. He spent the eight months they were together emotionally abusing her to the point she was always in tears. I do not know why she stayed with him, but he convinced her that since she was fat no one else would love her. He kept trying to get her to lose weight in unhealthy ways, to dress like a bro-hoe, and be someone she was not. Luckily, she got fed up with it and told him where to stick it. She was in therapy for a long time. Then one day she ran into a former mutual friend. He told her about how Asshole Boyfriend was abandoned by all his friends for being rude and cruel. He had not been able to keep a girlfriend because of his high standards. Then the mutual friend asked her out. When she expressed a desire to lose weight, new boyfriend lost it with her. He lost 50lbs, she lost over 100. They are now engaged. So while it hurts now, Op, someone in the world will recognize you as the beautiful woman you are, no matter your weight or looks. There are some men/women in the world who would be willing to stay with a man who is that large.
That is the best thing I've read all week. Good luck to them and thank-you for sharing! And I agree with that last comment too. How could he do better than someone who loved and supported him unconditionally? You're a star 'my heartbroken'. Honestly, you really are. I'd love to hear your story in a few years from now, you'll find what you deserve xx
Yes she probably does, but from the start of their relationship. I have a hard time conceiving how someone who cannot take care of themselves physically ie. getting fat to 300lbs are supposed to be apt in a relationship. Love yourself. Dont let your health go down the drain
Hi there. My brother did the same to his wife, if she could speak English, I would have sworn this was her... (and he lost almost the same weight as yours did). He was a jerk, and so is your husband. - Yes I'm saying that of my own brother - ... Sweetheart, if he did that to you, YOU are the one who deserve so much better. Go treat yourself with something that will make you feel good, and allow yourself to live again without a man that will treat you like that! Again, I'm really sorry to hear... this shouldn't happen at all... :(
Sounds like he went from fat to ugly. Op, you deserve better. Chin up, and push forward onto bigger and better.
Why on earth would people select "you deserve it"? For the people who pressed YDI, I hope bad things happen to you.
Not saying the OP's situation is the same but I knew a lady that left her husband after she lost half her body weight. She did so because she knew if she stayed with him she'd gain all her weight back because he was an enabler that keep bringing fatty foods home. When she explained for him not to, it fell on deaf ears. Her husband also refused to change his eating habits which was her past type. She wanted to better herself and felt he was sabotaging her diet out of jealousy. Who knows if the husband felt the same way?
Yea it does attract different women, the kind that wouldn't look twice when he was 300 lbs. To me a person that loves you for you is worth 1000 of those "different women". OP, I'm sorry he was such an ass and, as many already replied, you are the one that deserves better.
100- I understand what you are saying. But changing her life was her decision, not his. You can't force anyone to join in a lifestyle change they aren't ready for. It's the same with any addiction. She had willpower to lose it, she should have willpower to keep it off. A supportive spouse is wonderful, but to divorce or break up with someone because they aren't yet at a point they are ready to make a life long commitment to that lifestyle, is just wrong.
#161 I think you're missing #100's point. Seeing as you're comparing food addiction to alcohol addiction I'll do the same. Say the wife had an alcohol addiction which after a long period of hard work and dedication and willpower managed to get rid of. But her husband is an alcoholic who - if we take OP's account as completely accurate - is jealous of her success and not only brings home drinks every night and gets drunk in front of her (do I really have to elaborate how easily that can tear apart every single bit of effort the wife had made, especially as it's not a one-time thing), but actually WANTS her to fall back into her addiction because he's jealous he can't stay clean himself. That is not love. With a husband like THAT, if unable to reason out of, is worth leaving, no?
What Op's husband did was wrong. He took someone who was supportive and loved him and threw her away, telling her she was not good enough. Sometimes when you make better choices for yourself, you change for the better or worse. My sister gave up smoking, but her boyfriend insisted on smoking around her. She left him because he was hurting his health and her own.