Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the elderly lady I work for got mad at me, all because I wouldn't feed her imaginary friend. FML
Today, my school brought in therapy dogs to help with stress. I was attacked by one of them. FML
Today, I started my dream job of being a veterinarian. My first day consisted of having to put down 12 dogs and 5 cats. FML
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML
Today, I work at a doggy day care. Employees are not allowed to leave the dogs unsupervised for any reason. So while I was alone in a yard, my stomach decided that it would be the perfect time to empty itself. Because I didn’t want to lose my job, I puked in front of everyone. FML
Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML
Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML
Today, my dog barked at his own reflection in the mirror for five full minutes. When I tried to calm him down, he started barking at me like I was in on the conspiracy that seemed to be going on in his head. FML
Today, I was really hungry at work, and my stomach growled loudly. One of my co-workers heard it and thought it was a cat. Ashamed, I played dumb and we ended up spending twenty minutes looking for a cat that I knew didn't exist. FML
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Top comments
Krirn 21
They weren't seeing dogs, they were just bored.
dude1122332 9
50 points a kill, you'll prestige in no time!
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Comments (194)
cantthinkofshit 5
Lucky! I would of dropped some acid or vaporized some dmt and joined in! Gone chuck- no **** that- RAMBO on those evil dogs, then me and scooby doo would go blaze some dankness haha
albsure23 3
Best.FML.Ever!!
DullBeauty 6
I must not only capture and or kill imaginary dogs every day at my job, but cats as well. I definitely feel for you.
PamChopsWithMint 5
That sounds awesome. Better than doing actual work!
robert76 5
You know you just got punk'd by old people, right?
bowser_rawr16 13
One of the best FML's I've read! Seems like you have a entertaining job.
djgoreo 12
I don't quite get why you say you HAD to. "Got to" might work.
alexlovescandy 3
You must have looked crazy doing that.
littlelia 22
Today, I decided to have a laugh at my seniors home and pretend I saw evil dogs at lunch. The worker then had to run around killing evil dogs as my fellow geezers screamed in terror. -Old Person
dhenri 9
Am I the only one that thinks that would be kind of fun??