By Infiltrator4444 - 26/07/2012 01:11 - United States - Lexington

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks 11 786
You deserved it 38 444

Infiltrator4444 tells us more.

I told my father that it's something all guys do at least once, and that he probably did too, to which he replied, "Son, I don't have enough to measure."

Top comments

If it's small, remind him who you got it from.

Come on, we've all done it once.... Right?


If it's small, remind him who you got it from.

ipwnallmen 10

Curiousity killed the cat, OP... either that or it was framed by stupidity. I kid, I kid. Hopefully, you'll be able to laugh at this later.

At least you were measuring your penis, and not how deep your asshole is. Now THAT'S got to be weird.

35 that thought never crossed my mind ... Trying to tell us something?

35 - How exactly do you measure how deep it is with a ruler..? o.0

It must hurt, unless its thin and rounded.

hahasooo 2
sporty1200xlr 6

Remember to use the Adam Corrola method from the old Man Show, you measure from tip all the way to the asshole.

Jeffers123 5

How does that idea even cross your mind???

DKjazz 20

79- You do it with a graduated cylinder, not a ruler.

onealmxwilson 18

I don't get how OP's dad knew how long he was unless he somehow marked the ruler while he was in the shower

Gotta lol here... Dad probably did the same thing when young.

Why, planning on measuring the depth of your asshole?

It's usually the first person that says just what 2 did is the one with the small penis.

Llamacod 11

so then you could say that your penis is practically nonexistent

Come on, we've all done it once.... Right?

Sex change!? Just kidding that's gross..

flockz 19

i did it with a meterstick.... made me feel very insignificant.

What about more than once? Hoping it grew somehow

Mister_Triangle 21

I never did; plausible deniability.

Mister_Triangle 21

I never did; plausible deniability.

mrnuleef 7

I like to compare it to objects, like a beer bottle,

I check every morning just to remind myself that I will never get laid (Forever alone)

mrnuleef 7

** sorry incomplete reply ** Remote controls, things like that

I know what you all did afterwards.:P No point in measuring your **** in flaccid stage. Billy Squire approves of you singing "The Stroke"

biglittlehead 12

52- you sound like peewee from Porkys.

Shadowvoid 33

Actually, i have never measured myself, nor do i desire to. I was given what i got and i can't and won't change it. It does what i want it to do lol

mykalt18 2

One day, I came home and saw a piece of paper with line markings laying on our table. When I asked what it was for, I was told by my boyfriend that he used it to measure his penis and saved it to show me. He also has measured the circumference, he says he can burst open a toilet paper roll....

I actually really need to get around to measuring mine

needsagf14 12

Yeah but most of us remember to put the ruler back

I dont think he should be laughing. If youve got a small dick, you must have inherited it from someone...

Pretty_Pink_Lady 10

He's not laughing at the size of OP's penis. He's laughing at the fact the his son brought a ruler into the shower to measure his manhood.

Considering the fact that his name is infiltrator I doubt he's very small

57, the day you find a man willing to admit he has a small penis, let us know. I don't think I have ever met a guy who doesn't pretend he has a 9 inch dong.

I knew a guy that admitted he had a small one. Thats rare O_o

cantthinkofshit 5

And he didn't get any pootang either huh? Negative reinforcement !!

Blame it on a cold shower. There's shrinkage!

Next time leave a tape measure in there, and just give a confident chuckle if he mentions it!

He should offer a few viagra pills to his dad...

Llamacod 11

what the hell does viagra pills have to do with this fml?

theannak 7

Just smile and play it cool. Hes probably done it to

Big_lama6 7

If you have long hair, take evasive maneuvers and say you were measuring that.

Why would one measure hair length, in shower? And comeon dad will know what son is upto, we all have done it :P

Octain 13

Oh idk...Maybe because it's wet... And straight. Just sayin'