Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, the elderly lady I work for got mad at me, all because I wouldn't feed her imaginary friend. FML
Today, my school brought in therapy dogs to help with stress. I was attacked by one of them. FML
Today, I started my dream job of being a veterinarian. My first day consisted of having to put down 12 dogs and 5 cats. FML
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML
Today, I work at a doggy day care. Employees are not allowed to leave the dogs unsupervised for any reason. So while I was alone in a yard, my stomach decided that it would be the perfect time to empty itself. Because I didn’t want to lose my job, I puked in front of everyone. FML
Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML
Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML
Today, my dog barked at his own reflection in the mirror for five full minutes. When I tried to calm him down, he started barking at me like I was in on the conspiracy that seemed to be going on in his head. FML
Today, I was really hungry at work, and my stomach growled loudly. One of my co-workers heard it and thought it was a cat. Ashamed, I played dumb and we ended up spending twenty minutes looking for a cat that I knew didn't exist. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Krirn 21
They weren't seeing dogs, they were just bored.
dude1122332 9
50 points a kill, you'll prestige in no time!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (194)
Dnigz13 4
I gotta say that would make any job interesting whether they really were seeing dogs or just bored, I'll tell you right now that doing that probably beats sitting at a desk with your thumb up your ass for 12hrs doing paper work.
NickPaulson 6
That sounds like a blast!
asssh18 6
I know how you feel. I work in the dementia wing in a nursing home!
heythere131630 9
Job contract: must be willing to assist elderly in anyway necessary. Previous experiences with monster killings may be an asset.
xXSkullCarlosXx 11
How the **** do you get CoD out of this? Just cause they have dogs in their games. Maybe the patients watch movies of killer dogs or something I think you're just obsessed with Cod to even bring it up
erinchick1 7
Old people are awesome...but they probably just got bored and started fucken with you just for some entertainment
skittlesmeep 4
LOL old people!
WitchyWife667 5
Did you use lasers? Lasers work best with those type of monsters.
Chloe_milburn 0
Haha. Sounds like something my kids would say.
aj510 5
Today, me and 30 other elderly friends decided to play a prank on our jelper by faking that we were seeing dogs haha what a bitch.