Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I went to the bathroom in a port-a-potty at a park, I forgot to lock the door. A little girl opens the door and then slams it right away. As she walked away I heard her say "no, there's a man in there". I'm a woman. FML
Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML
Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML
Today, I was hiding in the toilets at work, catching a quick pee/phone/vape break between patients. Pants down, scrolling my phone, puffing away. Suddenly the stall door opens and my manager is standing in front of me, staring. The stall door latch hadn’t closed properly. Now I can’t look her in the eye. FML
Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year-old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed, but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML
Today, I used the bathroom that the high school shares with elementary kids. As I was pulling my pants down, my phone fell out of my pocket into the other stall. As I was reaching for it, the little girl in the other stall took it and ran away. FML
Today, I had to use the restroom while at work. I had the choice of the stall with a broken lock, or the stall with a huge crack in the partition wall. Not two minutes after I sat down, I noticed someone peeking in. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML
Today, I had no choice but to use a porta potty. I was happy to get a clean one. I wasn't happy when a young child tried opening the door and used enough force to break the lock, showing me sitting on the toilet to the world. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
Dude, it's a bathroom. What was she expecting?
allmidnighteyes 11
Maybe OP's vaginal area resembles the forests of Mirkwood? Or perhaps a ruptured whoopee cushion?
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Comments (71)
DEVASTATOR 12
leafhead your an idiot as simple as words go. and OP that suck FYL for sure
tubaguy42 0
I love when people say things like "your an idiot" or "your stupid." There's nothing like calling someone else an idiot while proving to be one yourself. :-)
Intoxicunt 6
I love it too, tubaguy42! It's a beautiful thing. :D On a side note, I misread your name as "tub-a-guy" as in "tub of guy". Whoops.
chloe2114 4
it says tuba as in the instrument dumbass
skidbubble 0
Fake. What kind of bathroom stall has a latch / lock on the outside?
jonny2x4 0
Maybe the kid's never seen a grownup dropping bombs before. Her mommy and daddy probably lock the door when they drop a deuce. That or maybe the loud farting or the grunting scared her. You really want to scare her? Show her a used tampon and tell her that's what 's in her future.
Intoxicunt 6
Win, win, win.
feminist19 0
wow sounds like the security guys were hanging around outside the toilet door, either that or usain bolt is working there, how long were u sitting there with door open and your pants around your ankles after the girl started screaming
Egotistical 0
I too thought the OP was a boy until reading the comments. It would have been so much better if you were. Fyl: you're probally now viewed at work as a freak Ydi:why didn't you hurry up and close the door?why didn't you hurry up and pull up your pants? Since you're a girl it's not that bad though since she's a girl too and you guys have the same body parts yours is just farther along in developement. But you know little kids think anything that's like that is major gross. Example:nakedness,kissing,etc. Funny for me sucks for you. Not too mention the kid. [:
caramelluv 0
why does it seem like no ones seeing the real fml? it's that the security was gonna think she's trying to do something with the little girl...if it was a guy even worse you know how paranoid the US is....they always find something to dump u in court.. ps I know it's a woman
birdofparadise 16
Or the real FML was because security is all men and she still had her pants down.
pilingcrap 0
i don't know if i beleive this why would security come in the womans locker room and why would the little girl scream seing a GIRL in the GIRLS bathroom and why was there a little girl at work anyway?
Jason_Q 4
YDI for not doing a quiet ninja dump like I do. stealth
dave202 0
I don't know how this got in, I moderated it and clicked no without a second thought. I bet the security just closed the door and you went on with your day.
zpicci 0
the OP is a boy right? his name is Teddy so I assume.