Miscellaneous: Today, after weeks of therapy for severe depression, my therapist...

By backtosquareone - 04/10/2009 09:42 - Canada

Today, after weeks of therapy for severe depression, my therapist thought it would be helpful to confess my deepest problems to my friends, to prove that it was alright to trust people. I did. They laughed. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 456

You deserved it 3 991

Miscellaneous

Another great day to be alive

Own it

Leave us alone

By Mike - 15/12/2010 11:57

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 949

You deserved it 8 663

By Anonymous - 01/08/2014 22:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I got suspended from work after getting caught reading a work-related FML. Irony is funny, but it doesn't pay the bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 603

You deserved it 18 283

By OutOfWork.OutOfTime - 28/10/2015 01:34 - United States - Cookeville

Today, I had my first job interview since graduating from university. The person who interviewed me informed me that not using my degree after two years practically makes it null and void. I guess instead of being a financial advisor at the company, I could always be a janitor there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 629

You deserved it 1 829

Toxic masculinity

By Anonymous - 19/07/2021 07:59

Today, my grandad smacked me on the back of the head, and told me to, "Act like a goddamn man and stop crying." It was at the funeral of my mum and sister, who both died in a car crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 911

You deserved it 85

By loneliness - 30/12/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, I realized I want school to start again so that I won't be sitting alone in my room all day anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 068

You deserved it 7 349

By Extended_desktop - 11/09/2011 17:53 - Poland

Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split second later, I realized I wasn't typing into the browser address bar, but in a chat window on my other screen. I'd been chatting with a girl I wanted to get with at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 533

You deserved it 65 738

By Anonymous - 03/09/2012 02:07 - United States - Southfield

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 364

You deserved it 2 468

By Worried - 16/04/2011 10:59 - Australia

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 845

You deserved it 7 103

By Anonymous - 23/06/2012 14:59 - Ireland - Cork

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 579

You deserved it 4 684

By TallGal - 14/09/2012 08:26 - United States - Tucson

Today, I had a date with a guy from the Internet. I'm 6ft1, which tends to put potential dates off, so I'd slyly knocked a few inches off my description. Turns out he'd done the same. He'd added a whole foot to his height. I had to crouch to talk to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 752

You deserved it 14 236

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 16:27 - France

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 083

You deserved it 56 757

Words are hard

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 18:50 - United States - Temperance

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 781

You deserved it 3 456

Where is my mind?

By brainfart - 19/09/2020 10:01

Today, I was put on a medication for severe migraines. One of the side effects is difficulty concentrating and word recall. I was writing a paper and sat there trying to remember how to spell "isn't." This medication better work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 76

By Anonymous - 20/07/2013 15:45 - United States - Newark

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 497

You deserved it 6 977

By steven - 24/01/2013 05:16 - United States - Orinda

Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 164

You deserved it 34 302

Thanks

By Appelflap - 29/03/2013 22:18 - Belgium - Sint-niklaas

Today, I was feeling down following a recent breakup. My dad tried to comfort me by patting me on the back and saying everyone goes through ups and downs, "Like when I found out your mum and I were having a boy." I'm their only son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 556

You deserved it 2 784

By Anonymous - 08/02/2012 18:15

Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 057

You deserved it 2 631

By SowhatshouldIdo - 16/05/2017 05:00 - Turkey - Istanbul

Today, I handed in my resignation letter after over 3 and a half years working at the company. My manager is angry with me, since we returned from an overseas business trip yesterday and why didn't I inform her before the trip. She now wants me to pay all costs of trip before leaving the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 930

You deserved it 1 197

By getslostinherownhouse - 14/04/2009 19:12 - Spain

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 073

You deserved it 60 870

By pinky - 06/01/2010 18:12 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 495

You deserved it 53 716

Bumpy ride

By Mum2be - 25/07/2021 02:01

Today, my baby kept me up all night, and I only got 3 hours sleep. Normal, right? He's not even born yet and I'm only 5 months along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 171

Get back here!

By oceangirl - 08/02/2012 00:14 - United States

Today, I texted my flatmate to ask him when he would be paying his portion of the rent, since he has told me he would be late this month. He wrote back to inform me that he had moved out last night while I was away, and that he won't be paying me anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 109

You deserved it 2 445

Volcanic

By poopshooter101 - 30/06/2009 11:53 - United States

Today, I was at Walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong, she said that I'd "killed her nose." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 703

You deserved it 9 319

By waymoreiwanted - 15/02/2014 03:21 - United States - Ashland

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 837

You deserved it 9 586

By meh - 17/01/2018 09:00 - United States - Dublin

Today, after drinking myself to an oblivion, I awoke with a massive hangover. I didn’t want to go to work, but every excuse I came up with in my head screamed of alcoholics. When I arrived, my boss asked me why I was there. It was my day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 975

You deserved it 4 738

By B-ran - 05/01/2010 00:29 - France

Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 745

You deserved it 21 564

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, my mom picked my ex-boyfriend up early from school to take him to see a special screening of a documentary that's showing in town. She left me after school for an hour and a half because they ended up going out for coffee afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 620

You deserved it 2 593

By j - 01/03/2011 06:26

Today, I found out that the co-worker I have been dating and falling for is the same co-worker that had been spreading rumors about me and getting me in trouble with my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 528

You deserved it 4 529

By Fish - 19/03/2009 15:47 - United Arab Emirates

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well performed dive of the diving board, I go up and attempt my best dive. I slip just as I jump and hit my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 241

You deserved it 55 261

Rachel! Emily!

By MoreThenFriends - 16/08/2018 22:00

Today, my friend's father got me mixed up with his new wife when telling stories for his wedding speech. Everyone noticed. The new wife was not pleased. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 924

You deserved it 227

Startled

By not a cheater - 04/07/2021 15:01 - United States

Today, I was writing in a journal as part of my therapy. I jumped and hid it when my boyfriend startled me by coming in. He now swears I must be cheating, that I’m keeping secrets from him and I trust a stranger with my personal thoughts more than I trust him. That’s kinda the point of therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 169

By Anonymous - 05/06/2009 04:28 - United States

Today, I took a nap with a kitten I just adopted from my mom's house. To make her feel more comfortable, I took a nap with her on my bed. In my dream, I kept smelling poo and I felt around on the bed to find the kitten. She apparently had diarrhea on my bed and I had stuck my hand in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 118

You deserved it 8 259

By ai_lauren - 19/12/2014 04:04 - United States - Bayonne

Today, I got 3 different rejection letters mailed to me from the same college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 728

You deserved it 3 081

Pick your moments, dude!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 00:01

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 305

The curse

By Anonymous - 04/05/2020 20:00

Today, at a time when dating app usage is at an all time high, in 3 months I've only managed 4 likes and one brief match on Bumble. I'm not terrible looking by any means, yet I'm weeks away from my 8-year anniversary of being single. Am I cursed or something? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 422

You deserved it 218

By Ropebunnbon - 15/08/2018 13:00

Today, after leaving for the city inspector to make sure everything was up to code, my husband and I remembered that we'd forgotten to take down the rope bondage setup and equipment in the closet. We came home to paperwork on the kitchen counter and the closet door open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 520

You deserved it 1 229

By Magicfml - 05/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I learned that my boyfriend is a better pole dancer than I am, despite daily practice. This was his first time trying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 238

You deserved it 1 001

By fired - 13/05/2014 14:29 - United States - Millis

Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 636

You deserved it 4 453

By Anonymous - 17/08/2010 07:10 - United States

Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 536

You deserved it 4 880

By Trinity - 19/11/2012 22:37 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 344

You deserved it 2 557

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Top comments

nazooer 11

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Sunday 4 October 2009 16:05

Wow, that sucks fuck your friends, find some new ones

Glam_fml 0

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Sunday 4 October 2009 16:06

I think you need some new friends. Depression is a very serious thing.

nazooer 11

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Sunday 4 October 2009 16:05

Wow, that sucks fuck your friends, find some new ones

zrjones 0

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Sunday 4 October 2009 16:05

haha

myhairynutsack 0

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Sunday 4 October 2009 16:06

Learn not to depend on others. The stronger you are, the better friends and relationships you'll have.

Dr_Balls 0

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Sunday 4 October 2009 20:23

So _this_ is how people who actually voted YDI think...

Glam_fml 0

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Sunday 4 October 2009 16:06

I think you need some new friends. Depression is a very serious thing.

xxchilloutxx 0

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Sunday 4 October 2009 16:08

Eeeep :S

flinkpamingo 0

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Sunday 4 October 2009 16:10

I'm sorry your friends are all assholes. Big hug. Don't let this ruin everything.

Incubuss 0

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Sunday 4 October 2009 16:17

What a bunch of assholes. Fuck them, find some new friends.

Ligerie 0

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Sunday 4 October 2009 16:24

Maybe your depressed because you have sucky friends?

plexico 3

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Sunday 4 October 2009 16:31

To me the most depressing part is the bone-headed therapist. How stupid is it to tell someone if such a fragile state to "confess" their problems to their friends, not knowing whether they are mature men, or moronic, party-boy, drinkin' buddies who light their own farts? Gee, Doc, if I thought spilling my guts to my jackass buddies would help, why the fuck would I need you?

Starchild21 3

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Sunday 4 October 2009 18:16

You're assuming that he never mentioned his friends before. For all we know OP probably stated that he confided in his friends and played them up as his form of escape. It seems the doc wanted him to tell his friends the deepness/root of his problems, and he didn't expect those reactions. But then again I'm assuming that he did talk about his friends, so I guess we both can't judge hahaha. ________________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99