Work: Today, at work, I served a customer who looked so much like my... - FML

By myanmarkaviar - Norway - Fl?

Today, at work, I served a customer who looked so much like my grandma that I thought it actually was her. Then I remembered she died 6 months ago. I had to serve customers with a smile on my face while choking back tears for the rest of the day. FML

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Buyer's market

Never flip flop and drive

Hello, Goodbye

By Fml37 - Canada

Today, I had to take a taxi to work, because I was pressed for time, and didn't have a ride there. When I got to work, I paid the cab driver, and realized I had spent more money on the cab than I was going to make at work. FML

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By i_am_forever - United States - San Francisco

Today, my daughter was putting clothes in the drier when she yelled, "Mom!! The drier won't start!" I had to explain to her that the door needed to be shut. Her response, "Oh. I didn't know that mattered." She's 15. FML

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By anonymous - United States

Not now

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

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By Anonymous - France

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

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By DieTrying - United States

Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML

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By jessmess - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, I went to do the laundry at my hotel. I had just enough money for my two loads. After getting frustrated with the washer taking two of my quarters and giving no credit, I took the clothes out. The washer then locked the door shut and started without my clothes. FML

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By Robbins - United Kingdom

Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML

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By notpayedenoughforthisshit - United States - Boone

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Worcester

Today, we had a safety meeting at my warehouse job. They had an entire power point based around their message, "Stop getting hurt; it costs the company too much money." FML

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By Kiddo - United States - Jacksonville

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/8/2020 05:00

Happy Birthday!

Today, I turned 37. My acne turned 24, my eating disorder 22, my chronic digestive issues 35 and my insomnia 16. My boobs, on the other hand, look like they just turned 60. FML

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By needanotherbed - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I booked my holiday flights. There's 700 miles between the small country I live in and the family I'm visiting, normally one 3-hour flight. Thanks to hurricanes Irma and Maria, the only available route traverses 1700 miles and will take 26 continuous hours. FML

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By whywasitthere - United States - New Braunfels

Today, I was walking down my road in the hill-country of Texas, when I spotted something shiny buried in the dirt. Thinking it could be something interesting, I picked it up, and, after turning it over numerous times in my hand, realized that it was, in fact, an old silver bullet vibrator. FML

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By flowerfail - United States

Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML

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By AvengedSevenX - United Kingdom

Today, I came home from work and went into the bathroom. I saw a poo on the toilet lid, and thinking it was a trick toy that my son had got to trick me, I picked it up. It wasn't a toy. FML

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By ThanksMom - United States

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

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By fuckparents - United States

Drama!

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - New York

Today, I finally got to meet the new Director of my department. She was my intern eight years ago, the one I declined to recommend for a full time position due to interpersonal conflicts. She knows. FML

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By CheLi - United States

Whoops

Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad and I were sitting in the living room, when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There is some creepy hobo man outside, messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML

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By Uhmm... - Canada

Today, I walked in on my brother slipping into a pair of panties. Specifically, a pair of my panties. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Mission

Today, my boyfriend gave me the painting he had been working on. It was a heart with wings, my name, and the date we started dating. We have been dating for almost a year and a half. He misspelled my name. FML

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By pumpkinlover89 - United States

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

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By AudraRose - United States

Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 09:32 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Insane parents, part 38765

Today, my mum vented her anger on me by shattering my mouse on the floor, taking my keyboard and nearly ripping out my monitor. At least a spare mouse and the on screen keyboard are better than nothing. This hurts. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Noblesville

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I started an awesome job with competitive pay. I also found out that the place is closing its doors in June. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Eugene

Today, while showing off the sharpness of my new katana, I missed my target and hit my shoe. The strike cut into the second toe of my right foot, which then had to be amputated. Demonstration successful. FML

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By thanks guys

Today, I’ve been suffering with a fever of 104° as well as an ear and sinus infection. I asked my mom and sister if they could get me meds and fluids from the store. I sent them money through my bank app for the supplies. They took my money and went to lunch instead. I’m still sick as a dog. FML

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By uwotm8 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I missed the spider but succeeded in keying my own car. FML

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By df22 - 3/7/2020 20:08

Graded

Today, I got my language final exam back. It was a 10-page essay front and back, and I saw that I received a D. The teacher told me the plot was too hard to follow and it jumped all over the place. It turns out he forgot to read the back of every page. FML

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By ninalian - United States

Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML

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By rubberduck_of_doom

Today, after months of begging, I finally convinced my friends to go skiing with me. On our first run I suggested a race. Everybody loved the idea. Good news: I came in first. Bad news: I tore a ligament in my knee. It will be operated on tomorrow. FML

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By ukfan - United States

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/1/2021 19:58

What's the point?

Today, my university required us to set learning goals for each semester and then evaluate them later. And no, the answer, "I want to learn whatever they teach me in the classes I’m taking" isn't permitted. Neither is picking your own classes. FML

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By The Towel Molester - Australia

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Gerber

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

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Top comments

By 5secondsofvvifi | 21

#6395309 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:03

I'm extremely sorry for your loss. If anything similar happens again try to see if your boss will let you go home?

By maryic4ever | 19

#6395320 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:07

Hang in there OP. I know how hard it is I have lost all 4 of my grandparents and although you will always miss your grandmother I guarantee it will get better with time

COMMENTS

By photogirlinlove | 16

#6395304 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:03

I'm so sorry for your loss OP. I've lost 3/4 of my grandparents, I know how it feels.

Reply

SadiyaRabia | 8

#6397558 - Sunday 30 August 2015 19:24

John Edwards once said when that happens, it's a sign that your loved ones, on the other side, are around you.

By Hildy93 | 21

#6395307 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:03

Oh my that is horrible... I don't think I could have done that

By 5secondsofvvifi | 21

#6395309 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:03

I'm extremely sorry for your loss. If anything similar happens again try to see if your boss will let you go home?

By shemademedoit | 20

#6395318 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:06

no comment :( but i just hope that lady doesn't come to often tho.

Reply

PePziNL | 20

#6396192 - Saturday 29 August 2015 7:18

I definately see a comment though.

Sorry for your loss OP.

By beeferjay | 34

#6395319 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:07

she is probably chilling with jesus, laughing at donald, we shall overcomb, trump and sipping on a martini. so dont cry

By maryic4ever | 19

#6395320 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:07

Hang in there OP. I know how hard it is I have lost all 4 of my grandparents and although you will always miss your grandmother I guarantee it will get better with time

By Symantha23 | 25

#6395324 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:08

So sorry OP! That really sucks!

By xxNIGHTxx_fml | 17

#6395334 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:11

I'm so sorry, OP! I really hope you're doing better. :(

By carl_carl_ | 28

#6395338 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:12

Just remember that your grandma loved you. Think of the good times you've had with her. I hope you feel better(:

By petethelovehorn | 19

#6395339 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:13

I'm so sorry, but just know that she's in a better place, looking down at you and proud of you.