Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML
Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML
Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
Today, I was at a store when I saw a cute girl from my school. Trying to act cool, I went to hold the door for her. Too bad it was an automatic door. FML
Today, I walked into a glass door at a busy mall. Not only did I face-plant in front of a crowd, but I also left an almost perfect imprint of my face on the glass. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
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Top comments
ohhboyy 0
BOOOOM HEADSHOT
unlucky91 0
Well, either thats the end of meeting her or maybe you'll have a story to tell your kids :] but yeah FBYL ( **** both your lives). i hope she doesn't get a bruise
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Comments (119)
ohhhhshizzz 0
Rofl #11. You should apologize, and then tomorrow find her if she has to come back with roses & chocolate. And an APOLOGY! If you didn't already.
SP63_fml 0
Damn. Aw well. Hopefully [If her ears and brain still function] She will notice what you were TRYING to do, and realize that you weren't trying to murder her with a door. Who knows?
somaturee 0
Ouch. Completely obliterated your chances. FYL. And FHL, too. She's probably got a bruise now, or something.
genius_man16 1
#6 maybe it /should/ be, but that doesn't make it any less nice or make it "low standard" Besides, most guys don't do that for girls other than a SO anymore. also, i'm not hatin on you, just the idea that being a gentleman is a "low standard" what a crock
wet24_7 0
haha what a ******* retard, YDI lol for be being so ******* clumsy and can't even open and hold a door properly
deaditegirl 0
OMG, your door-holding skills are so hot. I'm so impressed. I must have you now.
Jellybones 0
Holding a door open =/= impressive. People on FML have terrible misconceptions about what's impressive.
Cantabguy 0
You are certainly no true gentleman, thinking that opening a door for someone is in some way 'impressive'. Holding a door open for someone who for whatever reason would have difficulty opening it themselves should be so instinctive that you don't even think about doing it, you just do it. But at least this wasn't another story about an overzealous feminist complaining about someone being polite.
boatiebanter 0
This makes no sense. Holding the door open for someone walking behind you is the polite thing to do, first of all. And since you'd already opened the door to walk through it yourself, why did you need to violently pull it open more? Also, regardless of whether or not you opened the door more, why weren't you holding on to it?
mk1o3o 0
i approve