Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML
Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML
Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
Today, I was at a store when I saw a cute girl from my school. Trying to act cool, I went to hold the door for her. Too bad it was an automatic door. FML
Today, I walked into a glass door at a busy mall. Not only did I face-plant in front of a crowd, but I also left an almost perfect imprint of my face on the glass. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
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Top comments
ohhboyy 0
BOOOOM HEADSHOT
unlucky91 0
Well, either thats the end of meeting her or maybe you'll have a story to tell your kids :] but yeah FBYL ( **** both your lives). i hope she doesn't get a bruise
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Comments (119)
pekkle1 0
#10 you should learn to think before you talk. #2 meant the OP had low standards because he thinks he'll get with the girl just because he opens the door for her. Opening the door for someone is common courtesy, not a way to impress a girl.
fmlbeast 0
you're a liar. get a real life and real stories you tool.
fishness 0
YDI for not having the manners to know that holding a door is common courtesy, not a way to impress. And 54, some girls, or women, if you prefer, would rather a guy took the extra three seconds to hold the door for a fellow human being instead of being rude and letting it slam shut. Some women like manners. Holding doors is not in itself sexist... only when people do it for stupid reasons like the OP.
yipeeitsmel 0
The sad thing is, people actually voted that you deserved it.
Hey_Darl 0
Well, it's more of being nice, not impressing someone.....and it's just telling you that you aren't actually nice just by holding a door for some "hot" girl...If you held the door for everyone you needed you to, that's being nice. But in no way is it impressing for someone to hold the door for them... Think of it this way, you have no worries about someone thanking you for it or not :p Would be even better if you had a hilarious punch line to follow it hahah
vanessa_nessa_08 0
thats not a way to impress someone by holding the door? it's pretty normal to hold doors for people, whats so impressing about that? all i can say is, epic fail big time
Emma_91 0
Wow! Today a guy held the door open for me and now I wanna sleep with him! *insert major sarcasm*
ceecee794 0
good for you for trying to be a gentleman! the world needs more people like you!
Yeoman 0
Oh well, if she lets a door hit her she isn't worth keeping anyways.
Atropos_fml 0
Huh, I didn't know a guy holding a door open for me meant he was trying to impress me. I'll keep that in mind. "Oh, you held the door open for me! Please excuse me while I swoon."