Today, at work, a customer left their cell phone behind. I tried to see if there were any pictures so that I could identify them. No, I still don't know what they look like, but I have seen their penis. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I accidentally left my cell phone at the restaurant. When I realized my mistake, I went back to see if anyone had found it. They said no, so I gave them my number to call if it turned up. I realized later that I'd given them my cell phone number. FML
Today, a customer checking out a camera at my pawnshop asked if the memory cards got erased. I said yes. He asked if I had a case for it and I left to get it. I came back and the guy said, "There's naked pictures on this memory card!" I Look at the LCD screen and it's a picture of his own dick, which he'd just taken in the store. FML
Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML
Today, I left my phone at work. After returning to the office to retrieve it, I noticed it was not on my desk as it usually is. I went to the front office and found it on the desk, unattended. When turning on my phone, I was greeted by my new lockscreen: a crap someone took in the bathroom. FML
Today, I copied some files to my phone while borrowing my grandfather's laptop. As I selectively deleted the files from the recycle bin, I noticed some pictures, and ended up seeing way more than I wanted to of his erect penis. FML
Today, I was showing my boss a picture on my phone. I didn’t expect her to take my phone from my hand and continue to flip through photos. I anxiously motioned for her to give my phone back, only to realize she had already swiped to my nude picture. FML
Today, in the break room at work, I was looking through my email on my phone about my Amazon orders. There was a suggested product that looked like a dildo. I turned around to see my boss behind me glancing at my phone. FML
Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, some guy sent a dickpic to my phone. I was disgusted, and wanted to find out who did it. I called the police, and they matched the number to my stepfather's new phone. FML
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Top comments
canadian_ftw 8
you couldn't just look through their contacts instead..?
Shorty_Shaza 5
Why do some guys always take pictures of their penis?
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Comments (139)
ckjacques53198 0
your a little two uptite about grammer and spelling :)
dynky 3
you'd do better calling one of the more frequently used numbers in the phone and asking how to get it back to the owner.
Rachel_D_001 4
Lmao funn
Seddah 3
Firstly, you deserve it for going through his photos rather than just checking the contacts. Secondly, get over it. It's a penis, for god's sake. 50% of the population has them. If the genders were reversed (assuming OP is female), do you think this would have ended up on FML? More likely it would have become a funny story told to friends.
horsegirl4everan 0
nice one dumb ass
BlueTwist89 0
OP needs a class in grammar. "Their" inplies a plural noun. Example: The boys ate their lunches. (The boy ate HIS lunch). Also, YDI for not calling a contact or turning it into lost and found.
RedPillSucks 33
I think you can use 'their' when gender is unknown. eg. "Someone lost their glasses" does not imply plurality
EvilDave 13
Exactly how many genders have penises? Yeah, one. That means the gender was not unknown. And, "their" is plural. Exactly how many people owned that cell phone?
hoolie06 0
84 - It should be "Someone lost his glasses." However, due to an upsurge in political correctness, "Someone lost his or her glasses" would probably be more proper, although a bit more awkward. "Their" is not correct and never, correctly, implies gender neutrality. Pronoun-antecedent agreement is the grammar rule which is being broken in the FML and in your example. If the antecedent is singular, so must the pronoun be singular; only if the antecedent is plural can the pronoun be plural as well.
Serr 0
Thank you for a lot of unnecessary jargon, 107; I hope it fulfilled its purpose of making you feel superior. Many authorities disapprove of the singular "they" while others remain neutral about it. I personally support it as the least awkward/most prevalent word used as a gender-neutral pronoun. ("Zhe" anyone? No?) I don't often post here, but your impractical, overly-rigid view deserves some tempering. If you think that language never changes or has to change, and you want to be dominated by male-hierarchical language structures for the rest of your life - well, those are your kinks, I suppose. Enjoy. I do agree that "he" should have been used in the FML itself, since the OP believes the photo is of the phone's owner.
Seddah 3
108: You're clearly far too invested in this and being unnecessarily mean to 107. And to top it off, 107 is entirely correct. Just because people use "they" as a singular pronoun does not mean it's correct. Maybe you should think a little more before you post.
Serr 0
Far too invested? Should think more? What do you want from me?
RedPillSucks 33
@107 Actually, this doesn't have anything to do with political correctness, as the usage has been around since the last century or so. As I've said before, the term is archaic, and apparently controversial. I don't really care which you use.
khamu_fml 0
108, no one cares if you "personally support their." it's grammatically incorrect. use "one's" or "its" if you want to be gender neutral.
Seddah 3
lol @120. I like you.
annigotammo 1
retard! you just call their most called person or most recently called person!
Consolata 0
stop assuming op, it could be their underage boyfriend :/
RedPillSucks 33
Actually, there is a singular use of 'their', but it's not common, and is probably considered archaic.
dakkilove 0
YDI for looking, always look for the contact named 'home' and call that