Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked a table at a restaurant if there's anything I could get out of their way and they replied, "Yeah, you." FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML
Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML
Today, I went out with my mom to a restaurant. We were sitting down to eat, and a waitress walks over to our table and asks, "How are you ladies doing tonight?" It really was a nice thing to ask, for my mom. As for me, being a man, not so much. FML
Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a Diet Coke?" FML
Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML
Today, while serving two middle-aged women at the coffee shop, I was screamed at and accused of being a "sexist and chauvinistic bastard." This was prompted by me charging one of them 40 cents for the addition of steamed milk, which is clearly stated on the price sheet. FML
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Top comments
smokeyou 0
Well...yeah. That's bad.
Bubs_fml 0
Nice job - if this really did happen and isn't the old, played out joke. Did you get a tip?
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Comments (82)
Talenie 0
niiice.
firebrad 0
Nice going! hahaha! You should have.
xoxowhatever 0
hahahhah that is hilarious! I'm a server too and I've said dumb stuff before. One time I accidentally touched a large ladies breast trying to remove her plate from the table...it was pretty awkward.
wasabipeas 0
That is DELIGHTFUL.
neocaster 0
That's hilarious. You owe me a new keyboard.
Laughinggirl_fml 0
Cougar chaser much?
ashestoashes_fml 0
similar experience once... couldn't decide between "thanks for the ride" and "thanks for driving me" ended up coming out as "thanks for riding me"
icantendthis 0
wow....i have done that before. exact saying too. one question, where they good looking?
dan81892 2
should have gone with "Can I get you anything to drink?"
xoxcinderellaxox 0
well there's an icebreaker