Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I asked a table at a restaurant if there's anything I could get out of their way and they replied, "Yeah, you." FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML
Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML
Today, I went out with my mom to a restaurant. We were sitting down to eat, and a waitress walks over to our table and asks, "How are you ladies doing tonight?" It really was a nice thing to ask, for my mom. As for me, being a man, not so much. FML
Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a Diet Coke?" FML
Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML
Today, while serving two middle-aged women at the coffee shop, I was screamed at and accused of being a "sexist and chauvinistic bastard." This was prompted by me charging one of them 40 cents for the addition of steamed milk, which is clearly stated on the price sheet. FML
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Top comments
smokeyou 0
Well...yeah. That's bad.
Bubs_fml 0
Nice job - if this really did happen and isn't the old, played out joke. Did you get a tip?
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Comments (82)
BalenciagaBetch9 0
at least you didn't say can you ladies get me off? right? right?
meddude 0
hahahahaha what did they say? were they good with it?
McZeal 0
that's an amazing pickup line
Edmund_Dantes 0
I see. You sexually harass four women who did absolutely nothing to deserve it, and then you want sympathy.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Chill the **** out. No one was sexually harassing anyone!
kupihea69 0
Umm what is sexually harassing about crossing two sentences in your brain and accidentally blabbing something entirely inappropriate out? It happens all the time, especially in the restaurant business where employees have to multi-task constantly.... This was hilarious btw!
IngenuityGap 0
Holy crap, do I ever feel your pain.
gqduck 0
Did they say, "Yes please but we're in a hurry so we'll have to take you to go" ?
aztec37 0
#9. even with explanation, this may be hard to fix.
yeahreally 6
i woulda just giggled..as they should have
ms_876 0
if you had been my server, i'd have laughed hysterically. i hope they were good humored about it.