Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I tried to impress our swim team coach by doing a complicated backflip from the diving board. I landed face-first in the pool and had to be rescued by the lifeguard, so I guess I won't be going to the Olympics any time soon. FML
Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML
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Top comments
hawkie409 0
Well? Did you impress her?
ALERI0N 0
lol gravity just pantsed you.
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Comments (90)
perdix 31
Was there significant shrinkage?
martyh27 2
Shrinkage !!!
Lisa89 3
I've been a lifeguard, and for me, I really couldn't give a shit if there were hot guys there impressing me [not that anyone would], I was more concerned keeping an eye on everyone in the pool, making sure people didn't, ya know drown instead of seeing if there were hot guys. YDI for thinking a lifeguard would ignore their job duties [of making sure people didn't die] and pay attention to you.
liveloveandownit 0
My cousins almost let me die while they were on lifeguard duty because they were looking at hot guys. I was 4 and my dad had to jump in after me.
Lisa89 3
commented twice for some reason
isroc 0
I bet she was turned on ....
Tarak_fml 7
well u could have impressed her.... if she likes small d*cks. :P
ImaginaryFoe 1
YDI for being an idiot. What makes you think that is on anyone's list of qualities they want in a potential date: must dive perfectly?
perdix 31
Most male divers are gay anyways. Hopefully, he's not trying to achieve perfect window treatments or triple lutzes to impress women.
blackllama 0
who the **** modded this?!?!
EmmyGrangerDC 0
"Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, lookin' like a FOOL with yo' pants on the ground....." More like shorts in the pool..... :) haha judging by the fact that he put this as an fml, he didnt impress her.
EmmyGrangerDC 0
damn!! somebody already said that!! dammit:(