Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML
Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I was practising kicks with a a woman in my MMA class and for some reason she dropped her pads to ask me a question at the last second, and I kicked her in the jaw. I got banned from the class for not being careful. She’s the one lowered the pad in the middle of practice. FML
Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
Today, I was teaching and a boy sitting in front kept laughing and smiling, even after I asked him to cut it out. I got so annoyed that I jokingly said I'd knock his teeth out, and asked him to leave the class. The kid went to the principal and told him I intended to hurt him. I'm a college professor. FML
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, in my karate dojo, I was being taught how to fall properly. My sensei instructed us not to fall with our hands out because it could sprain our wrists. As I was getting ready to help demonstrate a backwards break fall, I actually fell over. Guess where my hands went. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
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Top comments
ztpalmer93 0
what did you do to deserve that
effthis 0
hope your kids are ok
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Comments (173)
FuzzyWalnuts 0
Im in martial arts too, and I've never seen some get punished that didn't deserve it. Granted I've never seen that drastic of a punishment, but I doubt it wasn't unjust so I'm going with a YDI. I guess you won't be an ass face when he's around anymore.
alex_vik 1
As a former martial artist, I can say pretty confidently that you deserved that. You must have done something pretty disrespectful to have him do that.
irrelevantxx 0
LMAAAAO it's called a cup.
nanoflacka 0
Omg! Isn't that illegal?!
Random_Poster 0
That's why everyone who pays to take that shit is a douche. YDI
ihatestupidppl 0
As a handful of other people have said, martial artists know that the OP must have deserved it. I wouldn't be surprised if the "DOES THAT HURT?" part was the sensei quoting something OP had said to someone else. And yes, FML police, I KNOW THAT'S AN ASSUMPTION and I could be wrong so please spare me the 20,000 "OMG HOW CUD U LYK JUZT ASSUME DAT WEN HE DIDNT SEI IT?!" comments. Anyway yeah, Y(P)DI.
Zephyrus_fml 0
Sweep the leg, Johnny! Was it the sensei from The Karate Kid????
Monado 0
Guys, who need to know that the laws differ in Korea then here. They're allowed to get away with this kind of crap there and the student probably didn't do anything to actually deserve it. Still, the sensei thought in his own opinion that he did deserve it.
leos1991 0
Your stupid if you didn't say shit to him
drimpossible 0
I wouldn't assume just because somebody is an instructor, the guy is well balanced or that the OP deserved it. The guy sounds like a thug and a bully. We had a guest do something similar at my club. The regular instructor then taught *him* some manners. He didn't like it one bit.
0okm 0
Its tae-kwon-do It is not bullshit and you do not get a belt every week, and it isn't just for kids either, and is a lot of work and requires alot of work and physical effort to pass up the belts. As well as having to learn a new language
ihatestupidppl 0
Just because he's in Korea doesn't mean he practices taekwondo. I've been practicing taekwondo for 13 years, and I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that if OP is referring to his teacher as "sensei", he is NOT practicing taekwondo. Sensei is a Japanese term, tae kwon do originated in Korea and thus uses Korean terminology. Maybe its time for you to make friends with Google.