Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I wanted to ask out this cute girl I used to work with. Before I could, she said she likes my only friend there, and asked if could I set them up. Trying to be nice guy and good friend, I did. Then she made her complete lack of interest in me obvious. But hey, at least the gay guy she hung out with thought I was cute. FML
Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML
Today, I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appears that my friends have always thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along' when I talked about guys. FML
Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, I asked out a coworker I really like. She gave me a weird look and said, "You're not gay?" I said no, to which she said, "Well, I am". As it turns out, I was the only one who thought she was straight, and the only one who thought I was straight. FML
Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML
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Top comments
Starfire22 5
Ydi, why didn't you just say that you had a girlfriend? Or just said " no thanks"
Julianneisasmurf 0
don't judge a book by it's cover.
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Comments (115)
happyhak 5
#18, I dont think the OP has any balls :)
Soulathyia 0
Pendatic needs to lose some major weight before he dies of a heart attack!
Jen_J_the_J 0
ah bad luck karma ^.^ well maybe ull go out with him and find out ur really gay, r bi! fun fun :D and y were u in a bar with 3 other peoplw? how early were u there?! sad
suesblues 0
YDI for being a shallow douchebag.
marz88 0
Oh please get off your high and mighty horse. If someone you didn't know approached you about introducing you to their friend and it turns out their friend was hideous, I am willing to bet you would also make up a lie to get out of it. If you say otherwise I call bullshit XD.
hyoori 0
agree with #15 -__-"
Oupazas 1
Next time just say, "Sorry, I'm only interested in other species."
lil_miss_shorty 2
Interesting that "I'm gay" was the first thing you thought of... Freud would certainly have a few things to say about that!
sublime93 0
Haha!
JustCyanide 0
THIS!!! :D
catkat1988 17
lol, that's funny... What goes around comes around, I guess. You got what you asked for. ;-) That's what you get for stupid lies. At least find one that won't backfire, such as "I have a girlfriend", "I'm married," "I'm interested in someone else," or just the simple truth, that you weren't interested in a date right now. No need to lie about your sexuality.
LaughingVeggies 0
I guess that's what bars look like. Unlike those horrible commercials. :P
greeneye_fml 12
Just say "I'm in a relationship." Works for me.