Love: Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up...

By awkward23 - 12/01/2010 10:26 - United States

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 980

You deserved it 42 517

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Silver linings

By 10 years, 0 dates - 28/11/2020 11:03

Today, I wanted to ask out this cute girl I used to work with. Before I could, she said she likes my only friend there, and asked if could I set them up. Trying to be nice guy and good friend, I did. Then she made her complete lack of interest in me obvious. But hey, at least the gay guy she hung out with thought I was cute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 140

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 200

You deserved it 78 610

Fishing

By notgoth - 27/07/2014 22:17 - Netherlands - Rijen

Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 639

You deserved it 8 418

Not that there's anything wrong with that

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 424

You deserved it 4 620

You tried

By Anonymous - 09/12/2011 07:56 - Australia

Today, I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appears that my friends have always thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along' when I talked about guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 305

You deserved it 3 260

By clubber - 04/11/2008 04:16 - Switzerland

Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 311

You deserved it 9 033

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 18:57 - Canada

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 635

You deserved it 13 124

Mixed signals

By Mark - 27/03/2017 09:00 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I asked out a coworker I really like. She gave me a weird look and said, "You're not gay?" I said no, to which she said, "Well, I am". As it turns out, I was the only one who thought she was straight, and the only one who thought I was straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 817

You deserved it 369

By Isitreallythatbad, - 22/12/2013 05:37 - United States

Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 527

You deserved it 3 646

By Anonymous - 16/04/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 658

You deserved it 7 417

Starfire22 5

Tuesday 12 January 2010 16:14

Ydi, why didn't you just say that you had a girlfriend? Or just said " no thanks"

Julianneisasmurf 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 16:04

don't judge a book by it's cover.

Comments

marine10_fml 0

Friday 15 January 2010 14:53

same thing happened to me once,i grab my bestfriends girlfriends hand and held it.

atl4lyfe 0

Tuesday 19 January 2010 17:46

that has to be the funniest thing ever!!!!!

maxxattack 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:20

shoulda said you're only into animals. I'm sure she would have left you alone then

ihatmylifeitsuck 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 5:45

Haha lol that sucks

swkisses5 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 6:22

thats what u get for judging LMMFAO!!!!! hahaaaaa suckerrrrrr

truelyawesome 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 8:00

there's a ancient term, no thanks. try dropping that in every once in a while

coolster56 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 18:16

so your choices between a very ugly 1 and 1 that looked like guy and you said no

Lone_Wolf_099 5

Monday 3 May 2010 10:56

she went with an ugly girl AND a gay man you were doomed to begin with.

hunter9141 17

Wednesday 5 May 2010 9:53

lmao that one never works

Zammie 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 6:52

how'd that go for you

Keywords

Health Relatable Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Transportation Cops Fight Family Kids Miscellaneous AITA Mother in law Social Media Love Relationship advice Art Work Students Animals Birds Sleep Noise Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse, and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 408

You deserved it 8 930

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 451

You deserved it 3 567

The Top

Today, I woke up with the worst headache of my life. I didn't get it from drinking, but rather from puking 6 times off the side of a fishing boat. Fishing was the one thing my husband wanted to do while on vacation, even though I'm 3 months pregnant and have a bad stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 706

You deserved it 1 493

Today, I came home from partying all night, having stayed completely sober. My Dad, blind drunk, told me he was proud of me for staying sober. He claims to have been sober longer than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 392

You deserved it 123

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I've been "spending too much time at the bar." I've been sober for 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 836

You deserved it 137

Today, my dad discovered my daughter’s OnlyFans account. I’ll let you do the math on that one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571

You deserved it 303

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 571

You deserved it 13 885

Today, at 3:00 am, I sat with my 3 year-old daughter while she tried to go back to sleep. She'd had a nightmare, and I'd read that "not leaving" was the most important thing a father could do. My wife woke and called me a pervert for sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 438

You deserved it 3 336