Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML
Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML
Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML
Today, I came out from the E.R. with an arm cast and stitches on my head, all because a cyclist ran me over on a pedestrian walkway and got away. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML
Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML
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Top comments
ilytyvm 25
I have to admit, that was kind of a good one... Sorry for the incident, though. That does suck.
tournamentdecide 33
That guy sounds like someone who would comment on here.
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Comments (79)
Delsanity 13
Damn those cyclist and their koffing and muk
mld4657 28
sounds like a douche canoe
munchkinikki 1
Sounds like he's done this before if he wasn't shocked and got up that quick
Tournesol143 28
Sorry OP! I feel your pain. Getting hit by a cyclist is not a joke. I live in NYC and get this all the time. I will be running along the Hudson river path - all the way to the side - and still cyclists will come roaring by and either nick my left shoulder or come pretty close. Ironically, on more than one occasion, I have then passed the same cyclist who has gotten off his (yes, it is invariably a male) several thousand dollar bike - clad in all their spandex glory - and is walking up the hill as I run by them. Note: these are the same cyclists - in this city anyway - that will scream like stuck pigs when they are going down the middle of the street and get into a dust up with cars. Before you downclick me know this: several pedestrians have been killed by cyclists going at excessive speeds who run into them as they've tried to do things like simply crossing the street. Don't believe me? Google Jill Tarlov, for one.
Vitotaylor36 13
And they wonder why they are always getting hit by cars.
marcusbjohnson 4
out of nowhere? no. pay attention and take responsibility for yourself. your parents must cry themselves to sleep nightly underneath their dining room table beacuse of you.
karcummings 19
It's just the cycle of life.
anabanana101 15
Aw he sounds sweet
grandpasmurf 5
******* cyclists think they rule the world
TheFuckIsReal 9
I would have loved to be the one getting hit just to hear the cyclist say that