Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on my way to a job interview, I saw a dog running down the road so I stopped to pet it. It was a wolf. FML
Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML
Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML
Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying, "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML
Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, I had a horrific nightmare where I was lost in the woods and got mauled to death by a hungry wolf. I fully blacked out in the dream before waking up in real life, at 3AM, where I found that my room was pitch black because I forgot to open the curtains. I genuinely thought I was dead for about five seconds. FML
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Top comments
garage_fml 18
It's Halloween. Probably a werewolf.
WolfyGrace 24
Oh, goodness. That's a story for the kids! But in all seriousness, at least you survived :)
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Comments (94)
moshpit11 8
Should have shot it
Mojo0608 26
'Murica!
Steffi3 40
There's wolves in Norway? Not too many, I suppose. If it hadn't been chasing you, it'd have been wonderful to see =)
Clioo_fml 17
Why wouldn't there be wolves in Norway?
ThankYouGoodbye 14
I don't know what planet you originally came from, but there are plenty wolves in the world. What, if a wolf showed itself, it would make the news? Wtf. Its not like the wolves have completely died out.
granCanyon 12
They are kinda rare in most European countries. I've travelled to many European countries and I've never seen one despite spending a lot of time in small villages surrounded with forests.
Mojo0608 26
#69 In most European countries they actually have become extinct, the same as bears, due to hunting for pleasure and protecting livestock over the past couple of thousand years. The wolves that are wild in America are a different species.
klorehore 24
I live in the same county as the OP, we got no wolves here. Only wolf like doggies. Unless the werewolves count.
Kahli21 15
There -are- wolves in Norway ( also Sweden, but far fewer in Norway ), and they are listed as critically endangered. I live in the Pacific Northwest of the US, and we also have wolves here that are endangered. It's illegal to kill them here unless they are actually physically attacking you, not merely looking at you or growling. It's extremely uncommon for a wolf to follow a human, much less come out into a populated area. They're afraid of humans because of the extreme overkill we did to the native populations ( both in the US and in Europe ), so they only come out when their pups or their marked areas are disturbed. And there's no way that guy outran a wolf. Wolves' walking speed is faster than a human's, and if it actually ran it would catch up immediately to a human as its running speed is also much faster.
klorehore 24
note I said county, not country. There are wolves in Norway but not in the county OP is posting from. Rogaland is all the way south West in Norway...
ThankYouGoodbye 14
I think he realized that too. At the end of the FML he says that he lives in central Norway, meaning that there weren't supposed to be any wolves there
gameover18 17
Sounds like the start of an anime.
niome_fml 9
oh that sucks.
SlyCooper15 16
That's pretty awesome though. I've only ever been followed by coyotes
emadrid 0
In my area we have coyote wolf hybrids. Was outfor a jog and Was stalked home by one once. Lucky it as frightened away when a car passed by. I imagine that a wolf would be much more frightening since I think it is bigger
messiersm 3
Do you regularly have to walk that route home OP? If so, you have several options. Norway has strict gun laws so (unless you plan to go hunting a lot) buying a pistol is not a good route. You could invest in some pepper spray or a taser. If the route you go is sufficiently paved a scooter or bike might be a better to go ( I'd still carry some bear mace though). If you HAVE to walk it at least bring a friend or two, or walk with others.
owpi 2
It's illegal with pepper spray and such. :)
Kahli21 15
In some places where wolves are endangered, it's illegal to harm them in any way unless they are actually physically attacking you, including the use of pepper spray or other deterrents.
Ichiya 29
Take friends with you who run slower than you or have some physical disability.
Frenchtony 17
You deserve it for not taking advantage of norway's really advanced social care system !
owpi 2
What do you mean?
ChildrenOfFilth 12
The chosen one!
buttersmom 14
Holy shit.