Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML
Today, at physical therapy, even though I was wearing underwear, when I went on the leg press machine, my balls popped out of the bottom of my shorts. A bunch of times. The therapist saw. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, I was clearing out the garage when a large bouncy ball rolled into the drive. Only when I blasted it full force with my foot and collapsed did I realise it was actually a bowling ball. Two of my toes are broken. FML
Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML
Today, while sprinting, I tripped, fell, and somehow managed to kick myself in the balls. Legs shouldn’t bend like that and I’m frankly amazed I didn’t break my knee. My wife got the whole thing on video too. FML
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Top comments
illabye 0
That must be some serious painful shit! I closed my legs and I'm a girl!
airforce987 20
Tbh the pain in this fml might actually trump giving birth...
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Comments (322)
ramakandra 3
you must be retarded to have this happen to you. noone ever managed something like that here in holland im sure. therefor: YDI
Turtle_rebellion 10
Shut up. You don't even know how the hell it happened.
ramakandra 3
doesnt matter dumb ass, noone will be caught dead like that over here. hence yo should still get the darwin award for idiocy, oh wait, you allready did!!
iBlamethetruth 9
Ouch. Im cringing at the THOUGHT of it. I cant imagine how YOU feel. Im sorry OP.
hateevryone 14
OUCH!!!
corleon198425 22
I'm bleeding outta balls dude! Call an ambulance! No ambulances are expensive!!!
jarad206 0
Here. For. You. OUCH...
Louis0785 4
way too much info omg
Timmeeh 17
Any other man (or woman for that matter) cross their legs while reading this?...
chatter46 8
I'm a nurse: they will likely also turn black :( but they shouldn't fall off :) sounds horrible - heal well
isamisis 9
I was with you up to the color blue.
BradTheBrony 19
Well, there goes a billion of your little Timmies and Betties.