Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my husband came home, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me to the bedroom. Furious, I shrieked to be put down and demanded an explanation. He said, "I thought you wanted us to be more spontaneous…" Apparently, that means he should treat me like a sex toy. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, a few days after getting my nipples repierced, my man initiated sex. Normally, I love it when he's a little rough on my tits, and I guess he forgot about my not-entirely-healed nips. Let's just say sex ended REAL fast. FML
Today, my husband decided to literally spice things up. He put a "small amount" of hot-sauce in our lubricant without telling me. He thought 1,000,000 Scoville units would make me cum. The only one who came was the paramedic. FML
Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML
Today, me and my hubby wanted to spice things up in the bedroom. He’s always wanted to eat food off my body but never wanted to deal with the mess. He got a little too excited and ended up biting my nipple instead of the spaghetti. I didn’t know someone was capable of biting that hard on soft food. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML
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Top comments
exuberant_orange 17
Did you yank his nipples back?
B1ackthesun 31
Maybe it's just me but if you didn't specify what you meant by 'spice things up' then you deserve it. You can't give vague descriptions like that and expect them to get it right. For some nipple yanking is the best.... For you not so much, but if you didn't tell your partner what you had in mind then you can't blame them for not knowing.
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Comments (96)
it_must_be 7
Well did you?
ohdgod 2
kys ******
it_must_be 7
Well did you?
iti_fml 12
wtf ?
Livin_Like_Larry 29
Is that when you pulled out the strapon and gag?
AverageJoey 18
Yank on his dick and ask if he likes that.
B1ackthesun 31
Maybe it's just me but if you didn't specify what you meant by 'spice things up' then you deserve it. You can't give vague descriptions like that and expect them to get it right. For some nipple yanking is the best.... For you not so much, but if you didn't tell your partner what you had in mind then you can't blame them for not knowing.
WipeHour 11
This
Darkness_Hate 29
Yanking nipples is not the first thing that come through my mind when I her "spice things up".
chosha_fml 27
#16 i have no idea why people are upvoting your comment. She wasn't being vague. It was her opening sentence. She hadn't yet had any opportunity to describe what she wanted. And instead of just defaulting to causing her pain, her boyfriend could have asked her, 'what did you have in mind?' Or he could have made a suggestion. At the very least he could have pinched her nipples a LITTLE harder than normal and then gauged her reaction.
llalala_fml 19
#63 I completely agree with you, and what's worse is that this FML is about her husband!! By now he should know what she means by 'spice things up' and not resort to hurting her
XBurytheCastleX 25
Next time, you should do it to him. Does he not user stand how sensitive boob nipples are?
frostedfoster 15
Boob nipples? As opposed to all the other kind of nipples?
EmmiAnne 25
I think she means female nipples as apposed to male
frostedfoster 15
Perhaps, but they are still the same. Nipples are nipples, science lesson time! The reason males even have nipples is because we all start out as female, then our genetics take over.
BlindlyWandering 17
Fairly certain that all men are VERY familiar with how sensitive body parts can be.
Badkarma4u 17
Husband tries somethung different. Asks you if you like it? THAT MONSTER!!!!
Rizzie0512 18
she said she wanted to spice things up. that was her way of opening it for convo. But he jumped to nipple pulling? that sucks. Trust me. Maybe open up the convo again when he dosnt have access to your body parts? fyl
janfleury 19
He is on the 50 Shades of Gray kick. Most women have read the book and are talking about seeing the movie. With all the talk he may have thought you wanted to try it. Talk with him op. The term "spice things up" is open to a lot of stuff. Talk about what you want to try in detail before you get in the bedroom. No misunderstandings that way.Good luck op.
dohdohdoh 13
50 shades of wanker. As in go f**k urself cause these legs are now closed.