Miscellaneous: Today, at my mom's wedding, I tripped as I was walking down the... - FML

By TitMunch - 23/10/2011 23:58 - United States

Today, at my mom's wedding, I tripped as I was walking down the aisle. I was holding the train of her dress. It ripped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 508

You deserved it 4 372

Mother of the year

Vulture

Nice guy

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 677

You deserved it 8 850

Get on with it!

By Mimmi491 - 28/02/2021 17:01

Today, I'm waiting for the second evaluator to accept my master's thesis so I can graduate. If my grade isn't submitted by the end of the week, my credits will expire, which will have consequences for my job. The evaluator is the same woman who graded essays from the beginning of the college year at the end of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 78

By Kylie - 26/01/2010 16:13 - United States

Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 969

You deserved it 28 582

By anonymous - 05/07/2011 04:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 667

You deserved it 73 709

By Sharibabi65 - 07/03/2012 06:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 352

You deserved it 6 807

By UnwantedDisappointment - 18/01/2019 00:00

Today, I accidentally saw my boyfriend's sexts to a guy he's friends with. He's been turning me down for sex for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 789

You deserved it 239

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 13:31 - United States

Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 260

You deserved it 1 802

By Itsbeen8years - 05/04/2015 19:18 - Slovakia - Stupava

Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 896

You deserved it 3 854

By shayes9 - 22/07/2009 22:15 - United States

Today, the boss returned from vacation. While he was gone we thought it would be a great idea to fill the water cooler with margaritas. Even after rinsing it we still have lime flavored water. Needless to say we got a company memo about appropriate office behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 756

You deserved it 53 241

By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 16:26 - Norway - Ytre Arna

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 150

You deserved it 3 519

By YoshiSqu4d - 22/05/2019 04:00

Today, my father told me I was becoming violent because of the video games I play. I was playing Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 657

You deserved it 193

By sweet pea - 22/09/2016 21:48 - Canada - Red Lake

Today, my mom told me she wouldn't be able to leave my middle-aged brother at home for Christmas in order to meet her first grandchild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 310

You deserved it 863

A slight hiccup

By maddie - 14/03/2021 21:30

Today, I got the hiccups at work no fewer than ten times in a row. I'm a cashier and not allowed to leave to go get water. Not only that, but I was called into the office to discuss my “drinking problem.” I don’t drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 39

By momolee - 07/07/2012 19:13 - Saudi Arabia - Riyadh

Today, a woman asked why my daughter doesn't look remotely like me. I just smiled and shrugged it off, but the truth is that she looks exactly like I did before I got my botched plastic surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 995

You deserved it 42 308

By babysitter - 06/01/2011 05:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 611

You deserved it 14 286

By :| - 25/04/2012 18:46 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 821

You deserved it 2 367

Get it now?

By poopooppachuu - 11/10/2011 07:32 - United States

Today, in the middle of explaining over the phone to my crush how I felt about him, I got a text from his best friend, who was apparently with him at the time. It said, "He doesn't like you, get over it. Stop rambling." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 023

You deserved it 6 081

By ardenm - 12/02/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, when I tried on a pair of pants at the mall, I asked the salesperson if I could have the next size up. She informed me that there wasn't a next size up. I have to LOSE weight to fit into the biggest pair of pants the store makes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 675

You deserved it 38 052

By fmylife117 - 17/02/2011 18:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've been sending dirty texts to my boss. The worst part is my boss was responding back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 235

You deserved it 6 120

By justagirl - 02/12/2014 05:40 - United States - Roseville

Spicy

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 802

You deserved it 5 857

By TJ AJ RJ / IV the V - 21/11/2014 06:11 - United States - San Diego

Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 736

You deserved it 4 096

By 221bcompanion - 18/01/2016 05:18 - United States - Massillon

Today, I put more effort into getting and keeping my Sims onto a good sleep schedule in order to properly take care of their needs than I did for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 683

You deserved it 7 647

Creepy

By Dummy - 10/11/2009 05:47 - United States

Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 576

You deserved it 16 010

By fme - 08/12/2010 14:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 033

You deserved it 6 289

Sorry dude

By EatYourGreens - 21/08/2021 06:01 - Australia - Augustine Heights

Today, my four year-old very loudly asked me if the little person she saw at the shops was like that because he didn't eat his vegetables. He definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 105

By Fingkids - 25/09/2012 01:51 - United States

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 274

You deserved it 33 788

By not a brain cell in sight - 16/06/2013 20:20 - United States - Muskegon

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 216

You deserved it 4 273

You're in the army now, oh ohoh, you're in the army. Now.

By LoveGlove - 21/06/2014 21:42 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 052

You deserved it 4 937

By Bandgeek - 16/03/2017 20:00

Today, at work, 5 minutes after I'd sent my help home, we got an 83 dollar order. I'm the only cook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 915

You deserved it 761

By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 04:09

Today, I walked in on my son flopping around on the floor with a blanket wrapped around his legs. Apparently at age 22, he'd rather pretend to be a mermaid than go out and get a damn job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 804

You deserved it 2 422

By Embarressed... - 04/08/2010 10:25 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 425

You deserved it 11 290

By Disgruntled - 16/03/2016 12:01 - United States - East Lansing

Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 035

You deserved it 1 272

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 14:35 - United Kingdom

Today, while playing badminton, I was so distracted by my ex winking at me that I didn't notice the shuttlecock that hit me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 690

You deserved it 21 373

By Sam - 21/05/2009 02:17 - Canada

Today, I ordered more memory and a new hard drive for my computer. I can't remember the last time I was this excited about something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 914

You deserved it 8 722

By msjustine - 06/05/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 889

You deserved it 13 341

By shway - 15/07/2009 23:22 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit and she screamed "Don't touch me there!". Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 435

You deserved it 7 225

By hurts.to.pee - 19/01/2012 05:14 - United States

Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 122

You deserved it 3 781

By Gaylord - 28/04/2016 02:17 - United States - Aspers

Today, I realized that my somewhat flamboyant behavior may have given people the wrong impression when my classmate tried to set me up with one of her male friends. I've been trying to work up the courage to ask her out all semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 749

You deserved it 2 163

By bleue - 23/04/2015 12:27 - France - Montberon

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 907

You deserved it 4 719

Creepy creep alert. Run!

By LeaveMeAlone - 06/04/2017 04:00

Today, my manager "bumped" into me 3 or 4 separate times. I told him months ago I didn't want to date him. He even asked me once if I was ever afraid of being kidnapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 561

You deserved it 298

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Monday 24 October 2011 8:41

Choo Choo all aboard the fail train...

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Monday 24 October 2011 8:43

Don't put yourself down, your mom is just trippin'. Oh wait...

Comments

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Monday 24 October 2011 8:41

why are you whining. its your moms wedding Fhl

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Monday 24 October 2011 8:41

Choo Choo all aboard the fail train...

xlord 27

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Monday 24 October 2011 8:51

Dont worry OP. it's not like people remember wedding days for the rest of their life....

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Monday 24 October 2011 9:08

What enonymous meant to say was that he wants to run a train on the bride and her daughter. He then realized that OP was a minor and quickly edited his comment to something that a 3 year old could of came up with... Right enon?

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Monday 24 October 2011 9:19

I can't be mean or funny to someone named titmunch they've done most of the work for me

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Monday 24 October 2011 9:38

Clutz's ftw! (I most likely spelled that wrong, but I don't care. Fuck you grammar nazi's.)

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Monday 24 October 2011 10:28

32-just shut up

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Monday 24 October 2011 11:35

No thanks :)

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Monday 24 October 2011 12:35

I could just picture that.

Sebastian_NG 17

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Monday 24 October 2011 16:53

Dun worry OP if your mom was pregnant with you the first she got maried this isn't the first time you ruin her wedding ^^

StopDropNRoll 11

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Monday 24 October 2011 19:53

See everyone join the chastity club. No sex before marriage, shit like that won't happen =P

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Monday 24 October 2011 21:33

Haha owned

Blazinthatshit 9

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Saturday 13 July 2013 5:52

Spelling isn't part of grammar. -_-

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Monday 24 October 2011 8:43

Don't put yourself down, your mom is just trippin'. Oh wait...

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Monday 24 October 2011 11:29

"I tripped" and "it ripped"... I kinda like that word arrangement.

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Monday 24 October 2011 12:47

Op is a good daughter

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Monday 24 October 2011 8:44

?_? . damn.

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Monday 24 October 2011 8:46

She just was a little side-tracked

palahniukpaul 6

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Monday 24 October 2011 8:47

Happened to me once...

superficialheart 11

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Monday 24 October 2011 12:02

Did someone rip your wedding dress?

EarAcheMyEYE10 2

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Monday 24 October 2011 8:51

Ouch... well it could have been worse... you could of projectile vomited on her... or passed out and fell on her... or you could of been called out for doing her new husband... now those reeeeeaaaaly suck.... so don't sweat it!!!

slushpup9696 12

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Monday 24 October 2011 9:22

I'm going to save you from making this mistake later on when it actually matters. Could HAVE. Not could of. Could have. You're thinking of "could've".

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Monday 24 October 2011 10:59

Why does everyone correct people's grammar on here?

RedPillSucks 31

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Monday 24 October 2011 18:10

Because it makes things easier to read and understand, and it's not that hard to do. Interestingly, "could have" is used correctly the first time, then "could of" is used in the 2nd and 3rd instance. This may be a short attention span thing.

False_Stupidity 41

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Monday 24 October 2011 19:29

Or you could have let her sit on a chocolate cake someone left on her chair...

sydie5 12

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Monday 24 October 2011 8:52

YDI for messing with gravity.

superficialheart 11

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Monday 24 October 2011 12:06

I doubt she was "messing" with gravity persay, I think gravity was "messing" with her.

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Monday 24 October 2011 8:53

"did iii doo thaat" - family guy

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Monday 24 October 2011 9:20

Urkel?

bamagrl410 31

Monday 24 October 2011 9:26

Well unfortunately most people these days don't understand that trashy pop culture shows get their references from other shows that actually managed to keep an audience without having to make sexual references or fart jokes all the time...

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Monday 24 October 2011 12:30

That's exactly how I feel.. Especially with trashy music today..

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Monday 24 October 2011 23:05

"It was like that when I found it." -Bart Simpson

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Monday 24 October 2011 8:57

Atleast it wasn't your wedding.

Miss_Michaela 10

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Monday 24 October 2011 11:33

Luckily, at her wedding, she won't be carrying her own train. :)

Nearly

Today I ripped my lovely £50 coat on barbed wire, what I only worn a hand full of times, ended up having to spend £10 to get it repaired, have to wait till Friday to pick it up, it’s only Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 11

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 4

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 1 034

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 1 173