Today, as a finisher to a date with my girlfriend we decided to park behind the school and mess around. As we were pulling into a dark shaded spot, she drove straight into a snow bank. We spent the rest of our time together trying to dig the car out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I tried to impress my date by confidently parallel parking on a busy street. I hit the curb twice, stalled the car, and somehow set off my alarm. Then I locked the keys inside while it screamed. We stood there in silence while people watched. FML
Today, I got stuck in the snow in the middle of street. As I was just beginning to get myself unstuck, the snow plow came by and buried the front end of my car. FML
Today, I had an amazing date with my girlfriend. Everything was going great, until I locked my keys in the car. It then started raining. FML
Today, I went to move my girlfriend's car. I failed to notice that the snow packed under the front bumper was actually ice. After a bit of struggle, I managed to move the car. The bumper, however, is now a separate entity. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
Today, I was driving on roads that were bad from two days of snow. I spun my car out, and ended up half-way in a ditch. Thinking that I could push my car out of the snow, I got out of my car, landing in waist deep snow. When trying to get back in, I fell neck deep into snow. FML
Today, my car got stuck in a foot of snow. I tried desperately digging around my wheels to see if it would help. I was finally able to get out 10 minutes later only to realize that I had dropped my phone in the snow while I was digging and had run over it. FML
Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Since the OP is named peacechick, I'm thinking that she and her girlfriend should have stayed in the car and scissored, rubbed Velcro and work the double-ended *****. That girl-on-girl stuff is so hot, the snowbank would have melted and thanked you for the boner you gave it befiore it disappeared.
Doortje 30
Looks like... that joke was never funny nor will it ever be ..shut up.
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Comments (88)
CallMeBloo 31
A PSA for horny teenagers- schools are not sexy. Ever. Take that shit somewhere else.
ryanebk 7
3 Os of bad drivers. Ovaries old and oriental
thepersephone666 11
She sounds like an idiot
deathfyre8 13
You're too young for FML if you don't get that euphemism.
wolfclaw322 6
Why is everyone saying it's his fault. It is the girls fault