By Jojo - 08/05/2019 16:00

Today, after months of planning, my boyfriend told me he's changed his mind and doesn’t want to move with me to where I got a job. Why? He doesn’t want to live that far away from his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 830
You deserved it 250

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Wow, the amount of people who believe wanting to live near your family is a red flag is ridiculous. His partner is not the only person he’s allowed to care about. Though the waiting 8 months to tell you that? That’s ridiculous.

This. And OP also doesn't say how far they were planning on moving. There's a huge difference between 'an hour' (or a few hours) and 'other side of the country/thousands of miles' away. I agree he should have mentioned it earlier, but it's also possible that he thought he would be okay with the distance but as D-day arrive, he realized it's a huge issue for him.

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I hope you realize that it is time to throw out the whole boyfriend You deserve better

Get a lawyer and fast, it sounds to me like he lied about his age when you met him.

How did you jump to that conclusion???

I have the same problem with my fiancé. Mommas boys are hard to deal with.

Helmut Arias Rodriguez 21

He’s got a point

Sounds like you dodged a bullet there.

RUN. RUN THE FUCK AWAY!!!!!! No amount of time will make him less dependent!!!!!! It took me 10 years 11 months to figure this out. RUN THE FUCK AWAY!!!!

And how do you know its not his mom that's dependent on him?

Wow, the amount of people who believe wanting to live near your family is a red flag is ridiculous. His partner is not the only person he’s allowed to care about. Though the waiting 8 months to tell you that? That’s ridiculous.

That’s my feeling, too. If this was something important to him, he should have told her long ago.

This. And OP also doesn't say how far they were planning on moving. There's a huge difference between 'an hour' (or a few hours) and 'other side of the country/thousands of miles' away. I agree he should have mentioned it earlier, but it's also possible that he thought he would be okay with the distance but as D-day arrive, he realized it's a huge issue for him.

It kinda is a red flag if he prefers to be closer to his mother than his partner. At some point you've gotta live on your own.

Except I really don't feel this is an 'either or' situation? Technically if you're living with someone you're living closer to them than someone else, but that doesn't mean you need to cut all ties with your parents and move outside visiting distance.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to live close to your family but it sounds like the boyfriend is just using that as an excuse because he's having cold feet about moving. It's not like they planned this a week ago. To give him the benefit of the doubt though: there is also the possibility that his mother's circumstances changed recently (health issues, etc) and that she needs support.

We have multiple ways to travel. I moved states away when I was 17. I still saw my family plenty. But uprooting your entire life for your partner’s job is tough. And sometimes people chicken out. People get scared about losing the familiar support, like Mom. I hope he had a last minute change of mind and didn’t just hold off on saying something. And if it’s just cold feet, he may follow soon after.

Consider yourself fortunate to have found out before you started living together. Now you can move on to a new job, new place, AND a new boyfriend.

You only have one mom, but you find girlfriends and jobs anywhere. You need to find a job closer to his mom.