Today, as a finisher to a date with my girlfriend we decided to park behind the school and mess around. As we were pulling into a dark shaded spot, she drove straight into a snow bank. We spent the rest of our time together trying to dig the car out. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I tried to impress my date by confidently parallel parking on a busy street. I hit the curb twice, stalled the car, and somehow set off my alarm. Then I locked the keys inside while it screamed. We stood there in silence while people watched. FML
Today, I got stuck in the snow in the middle of street. As I was just beginning to get myself unstuck, the snow plow came by and buried the front end of my car. FML
Today, I had an amazing date with my girlfriend. Everything was going great, until I locked my keys in the car. It then started raining. FML
Today, I went to move my girlfriend's car. I failed to notice that the snow packed under the front bumper was actually ice. After a bit of struggle, I managed to move the car. The bumper, however, is now a separate entity. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
Today, I was driving on roads that were bad from two days of snow. I spun my car out, and ended up half-way in a ditch. Thinking that I could push my car out of the snow, I got out of my car, landing in waist deep snow. When trying to get back in, I fell neck deep into snow. FML
Today, my car got stuck in a foot of snow. I tried desperately digging around my wheels to see if it would help. I was finally able to get out 10 minutes later only to realize that I had dropped my phone in the snow while I was digging and had run over it. FML
Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Since the OP is named peacechick, I'm thinking that she and her girlfriend should have stayed in the car and scissored, rubbed Velcro and work the double-ended *****. That girl-on-girl stuff is so hot, the snowbank would have melted and thanked you for the boner you gave it befiore it disappeared.
Doortje 30
Looks like... that joke was never funny nor will it ever be ..shut up.
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Comments (88)
mintcar 10
It's not the end of the world. You'll see her again, no? Sheesh.
Doortje 30
Looks like... that joke was never funny nor will it ever be ..shut up.
perdix 31
Since the OP is named peacechick, I'm thinking that she and her girlfriend should have stayed in the car and scissored, rubbed Velcro and work the double-ended *****. That girl-on-girl stuff is so hot, the snowbank would have melted and thanked you for the boner you gave it befiore it disappeared.
perdix 31
Try not to notice that the OP is probably female and that this story is about lesbians. Evidently, this topic is some sort of sacred cow and we cannot have a little fun at their expense. Pretend that it's about a guy and a girl or you'll get censored with thumbs down
rachelmaee 0
Whatta weirdo, you are
Arschloch04 0
People are such babies. I thought your comment was fantastic.
DocBastard 40
Perdix, you are one sick monkey! *pushes thumbs up repeatedly*
FreshSalad 1
Well predix, you know what happened to Moses when he was on the mountain getting the 10 commandments... I think you need to take this FML ground it up,put it in the water and make the negative thumb people drink it.
youngmoney14 0
yes brother
therealsuperman 0
ydi for letting a woman drive
thatguy888 0
looks like someone *puts on sunglasses* doesn't like this joke. YEAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
zowieandzander77 1
Um "as a finisher to a date" ... Perhaps you should spend more time in school instead of hooking up outside of one.
QueenOfBoredom 0
I actually thought this was funny FML
musickraze45 0
you deserve it for living in Alaska haha
nerfherder24 0
why?
guckylynn 19
Although if 11 looked at OPs name, he'd realize his joke likely doesn't work because it seems like OP might be a girl.
Petawhitney 2
Silly lesbians with their butch haircuts and inability to drive or brake properly...