Today, and every day, a homeless looking man walks into my work, sits down and stares. I'm new to the job so, trying to make new friends, when the guy walked in this time, I went over to a co worker I was really clicking with, and went off about how creepy he was. He replied with "Who, my dad?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took the train to visit my parents, which arrives late at night. As I was getting off, the cute guy in front of me looked out the window, then turned to me and said, "Doesn't that guy out there give you the creeps?" That guy was my dad. FML
Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML
Today, I was talking to one of my supervisors at my new job. He asked if I knew a professor at the school I recently graduated from, and I decided to babble on about how shitty of a professor he was and how much I loathed his class. He then looked at me and said, "That's my dad." FML
Today, a weird guy in pajama pants and a fake hair-hat kept standing by us at a concert. Everyone talked about what a creep he was. I would have too, but he was my dad. FML
Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML
Today, my friend and I were in a hallway talking while a man kept walking by and turning around. I then asked him "WHAT are you LOOKING for!". It was a blind man. FML
Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML
Today, I was at the airport, on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was four years-old. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to fuck off. The strange man was my father. FML
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Top comments
RODEOqueen 0
Ouch. That's why you shouldn't try to make friends by putting other people down.
imaginaryvoice 18
Ahahaha that's when you back away slowly and compliment on how attractive his father is
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Comments (61)
hairt 4
Wtf Jake how could you post this on FML. KEE-DEENG :P
RedPillSucks 33
FYLDeep, She did say "homeless looking", meaning she was making an assumption. I wonder if that's better than homely looking?
FYLDeep 26
You have a point. Should have just replied to me though.
RedPillSucks 33
I thought I did. May have been a comment bug... oh well.
BethiiGeex 0
that's harsh even if he wasn't that guys dad he's still a person, it's not his fault he came out looking "ugly" you shouldn't put people down for the joy of making friends
Spastastic 6
Sounds like my dad. He grows a beard during the winter and it kind of makes him look like a scruffy homeless man. Once he came to pick me and my mom up after a class thingy we went to. It was dark by the time it was over, and when we came out he was standing outside on the sidewalk in a big coat with the hood drawn up -- with that and the beard, he seriously looked like a crazy old homeless guy. That then kidnapped us.
ramencrusade 0
chew it over with a twix.
xoCOURTNIEox 0
haha fyl..awkward just walk away in shame :) problem solved
simply2010 0
ha ha ha ha! if only that worked i'd put 10 in my pocket every day before work
Phustercluck 11
I could really use a pumpkin spice latte right about now. Too tired to get that first leg out of bed.
CallMeHush 1
He can still be a creep.
Marvin_Android 0
Sounds depressing. As if the meaninglessness of existence wasn't heartbreaking enough, having a father figure not amount to anything would depress even the most unaware of your ape-like species. I don't know why your coworker would be offended, anyway. I find most of your species creepy, especially when they're so annoyingly cheerful. Life. Don't talk to me about life.
AwayWithTheWind 0
-"Your ape-likee species" ?, and "your species" ? what thee **** aree you, an alien ? >_< you writee as if your not also human >.>
Erissa 2
hahahaha obvious troll is obvious.
Pastor_Rich 0
that's his forte dude, chill
5t3ff1k4h 47
28 - Read the name.
your_face 15
Just reading the name won't help if he didn't catch the reference. He's gotta read the whole book, if not the whole series.
Spastastic 6
Except that the name has the word "android" in it.
Bananaque 0
lol this totally sounds like a mistake I would make myself! i have learned to never judge a book by it's cover.
figgity83 15
cognitive thinking error indeed. YDI. next time just ask the guy if he needs help with something before u jump to a conclusion.