Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML
Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML
Today, I was in McDonald's with some friends. When I got up to the register to order, the guy there appeared startled by me, and said, "Whoa, you're really pretty." No one has ever said anything like that to me before. When I told my friends, they laughed and said, "Wow. He must have been drunk." FML
Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML
Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML
Today, as the manager of a McDonald's, I had to ask a group of high school kids to calm down after several complaints from other guests. Their rational response was to pour soda on my head and throw burgers at me. Upon returning from chasing them out, I sprained my foot. FML
Today, as usual, I worked at McDonald's. Although I tried to diffuse the situation, an old man was absolutely furious, and punched me in the face over BBQ sauce. FML
Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism." FML
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML
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Top comments
badass243 6
he needs a McChillthefuckout
K_kanaka 26
RUN MOTHAFUCKA RUN!!!
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Comments (62)
ICATiger 13
YES HE CAN
ScarletBloom 14
How can a white woman be misunderstood as Obama?!
DrJesse 10
The same way George W was misunderstood to be a good presidential candidate.
mintcar 10
LMFAO, the best FML I've read yet. Anyways, be lucky that's all he did. Drunk people are unpredictable sometimes.
jaywalton_4 10
Vote For Change
Mirorbo 27
I think he was a lot more than just intoxicated to be seeing that.
lizard399 0
I remember my first beer...
Michael_92 20
Again with this?? Really!?
jerseyboy732 16
this is why joe biden shouldn't leave his house after 6pm
tmd4L 7
Bum fights strikes again.
StitchMeASmile 5
This is total bs.
5HT2A 5
If he tried chasing you out thinking you were Sarah Palin, would you be more flattered?
nightwanderer 6
#41 At least she is of OP's skin color and gender still an insult but at least she's being mistaken for a woman.