By Ford - 03/01/2018 01:30
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Mmmm yeah, she sure sounds like a genius. Might want to rethink being married someone who can't do basic math if you started dating and such after that year that the child was born.
I am sorry that your wife thinks that. Fetch some papers to prove that you were a donor and ask that child or/and his parents to confirm it. And after that ask him/her why he/she thought it was appropriate to contact you in any way.
Because the offspring of donor parents have the right to contact the person who donated their sperm... The ‘child’ might want to know where they came from, whether there are any siblings, or maybe just to say thank you for providing their mother/co-father the opportunity to have a child. Open mindedness isn’t your strong suit.
While we don't know where the OP is from, I am going to assume the US, since this is where I am from lol. In regards to sperm bank donations, the donors are almost always anonymous and sign contracts giving up all parental rights and also sign confidentiality contracts. Specific states do allow the child to learn the identity of the donor parent when they turn 18 or 21, depending on the state. However, learning the identity of the parent doesn't automatically give the child the right to contact the parent and turn their life upside down. I can see if the child wanted to know about health factors or something like that, but other than that, no. In addition, OP has no obligation to the child, since their donation was to a sperm bank, rather than an agreement with the mother.
I do not think they have "the right" to invade the donor's life like that. It is extremely selfish, unnecessary and imo it violates the donors privacy and anonymity. The sperm bank probably had all the medical data they needed. And as it was already stated, he has ZERO obligations to the child, he donated some sperm. If anything the child should feel some consequences of his/her actions. Not to mention situations like this might put off people from donating if their privacy won't be respected.
So basically your logic is ‘fuck the kid because the man who jacked off into a cup for some quick cash is more important than someone trying to figure out their ancestral roots, if they have potential illnesses in their family tree, or if they are interested in their paternal background or family roots at all, or another human being trying to discover part of their identity and important medical information’? You’re not ignorant at all.
They do medical checks before you can donate. His/her curiosity about "ancestors" does not give him/her the right to invade someone's privacy. All medical information could be obtained without bothering OP. Just because he/she came from his sperm does not make him/her his family. The child has parents who raised him/her. THEY are his/her family.