Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my brother arrived at the cabin we’re staying at on a trip. He insisted he got the bed I chose. My father responded, "You wouldn’t want the bed if you knew what he did in it last night." I laughed until I realized there's a mirror where he could've easily seen "what I did last night." FML
Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML
Today, while looking at a house to buy, I opened a bathroom door. There was a naked man on the toilet. FML
Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML
Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML
Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML
Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had our parents over to our new apartment for the first time. We spent hours cleaning, cooking, and making sure everything was "parent-appropriate." Apparently we didn't notice the BDSM catalog in the pile on our coffee table... but his mom sure did. FML
Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
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Top comments
chrstygrl06 10
You should eat off plates. I find they're much handier.
MauriceWinifred 0
so? clean it. And it's not like you don't use plates. what's the big deal, ugh.
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Comments (68)
you_and_me_fml 8
.. whos ready to eat??
bamboozer 0
ON the table or AT the table?
Heffir 0
Atleast if becomes famous you can say he stayed at your cabin.
Mokiikom_fml 8
If he becomes VERY famous, they can cut up little pieces of the table and sell it to creepy fans who want to have indirect contact with the guy's ass!! :D Total win then, at least for making some profit from the gross experience...
vivsss 11
he must have been a failed author, too poor to afford clothes
docscientist 10
But rich enough to pay the rent.
docscientist 10
But rich enough to pay the rent.
hemant 0
dfgdg
underpaid011 0
awesome. a whole book of poems describing exactly what the poet likes to do to your stuff whole naked. if you ever sell that cabin, throw in the book.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
why the hell were you reading his private stuff anyway? :o
perdix 31
The best poem in the book is the one called "Flawless Victory," where he talks about the rapture of ******** and not wiping. Research shows that the vast majority of people who claim to have the experience really do have lots of residual fecal matter that should have been wiped. Bon appetit!
clockworklolita 3
It might be a bit of a stretch, but just because he wrote it doesn't necessarily mean he did it. (As coincidental as it is) I once wrote a poem in which the main character sat naked on her dining room table and I've never done that in real life. Plus if he'd actually done it, how likely is it that he'd be comfortable letting you know about it?
Mokiikom_fml 8
But he probably didn't count on them reading that...
lolitaababy 0
My name is Lolita and I'm 19 and write poetry also! we gave three very cool things in common! awesooooome ^__^
maszaros 9
Who cares? Why is this a FML?