By SURPRISE - Canada Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML I agree, your life sucks 89433 You deserved it 6790 235 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Dansville Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML I agree, your life sucks 28875 You deserved it 4079 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Lithuania - Prienai Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML I agree, your life sucks 59630 You deserved it 3974 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Monroe Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML I agree, your life sucks 47381 You deserved it 2697 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By melikeyturtles - United States Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML I agree, your life sucks 25458 You deserved it 4749 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Neveragain - United States - Tampa Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML I agree, your life sucks 43004 You deserved it 5375 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By catslave - New Zealand Today, my cat wanted to go out. She watched me open the front door, leave it open while I got something from the car then come back inside. She then insisted on going out the back door. I'm a slave to a cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 9006 You deserved it 1841 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I was talking to my military brother about him coming home soon. I told him that our parents don't always handle change well, but are excited to see him. He took that to mean that they don't want him home and to make plans to stay where he is. FML I agree, your life sucks 1781 You deserved it 856 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, after some filing mistakes, and a lot of waiting on hold, I'm finally registered for Spring classes. I was ready to enjoy this term, until I found out that my ex, who was forced into therapy after he threatened to kill me, is in half of my classes. FML I agree, your life sucks 32510 You deserved it 2739 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Phoenix Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML I agree, your life sucks 32841 You deserved it 7812 180 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "people these days" - United States - Fairfax Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML I agree, your life sucks 48812 You deserved it 15782 206 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rokkstarrrVRV - Canada - Edmonton Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 46185 You deserved it 5147 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rockyio - Canada Today, it's my birthday. My best friend called me at work and offered to take me out to lunch. When he went to pay for the meal, his card was declined so I told him not to worry and that I would pay for the birthday meal. He looked at me and said "It's your birthday?" He was serious. FML I agree, your life sucks 39149 You deserved it 3577 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By footbloodfountain - Canada Today, I realized why buying clear pins for the wall is a bad idea. If one falls out, you won't be able to see it with your eyes, but your foot will find it just fine. I also learnt foot wounds can produce a pretty significant geyser of blood. FML I agree, your life sucks 25123 You deserved it 6694 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/5/2020 08:00 Lemon or haunted? Today, our boiler broke. Yesterday, it was our fridge. The day before that, the deck collapsed, and a few weeks ago the dishwasher flooded the kitchen. This is after we spent a ton of money to have the house gutted due to a mold problem. We only bought the house a year ago, and have lived in it even less. We need to move. FML I agree, your life sucks 1566 You deserved it 158 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CoolGuy69 - Sweden - M?lnlycke Today, I studied all night for a big test. I ended up falling asleep on the bus ride there. I woke up in a different province. FML I agree, your life sucks 12959 You deserved it 1822 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Pakistan Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML I agree, your life sucks 43631 You deserved it 10077 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Hull Today, my brother started ranting about how fluoridated water is a conspiracy to "turn people gay". I said the government must be doing a shit job of it, since he's been drinking the stuff longer than I've been alive and is still married to a woman. He punched me so hard, my vision blacked out. FML I agree, your life sucks 15563 You deserved it 2078 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whatislife1969 Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank a little too much vodka. Towards the end of the party, I found myself making out with a tree in front of all my co-workers. FML I agree, your life sucks 1398 You deserved it 4710 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my boyfriend's dog, which he got even though he knew I was allergic, literally got in between us while we were having sex. He didn't stop and got mad when I did. Now I'm itchy. FML I agree, your life sucks 2866 You deserved it 324 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chucklesman96 - Canada - Westerose Today, I got shot in the leg while taking a firearms safety course. FML I agree, your life sucks 9120 You deserved it 1128 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By liar liar plants for hire - 3/8/2020 23:01 Season finale Today, thanks to traveling restrictions being lifted, I was finally able to go visit the guy I've been chatting with online for the past year. When we met it was like a TV show, well more like three shows: Catfish, Hoarders and My 600lbs life. Turns out he had his neighbor video chat me all along. FML I agree, your life sucks 2631 You deserved it 410 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Brooklyn Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML I agree, your life sucks 42797 You deserved it 6089 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SkipLegDay - New Zealand - Palmerston North Today, my untrained legs have been traumatised by the sudden regime of squats, mountain climbers and lunges I have been putting them through. I literally just have to trust-fall back onto the toilet and hope for the best, because my legs don't have the strength to support the gradual descent. FML I agree, your life sucks 14272 You deserved it 3226 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I went home with a guy I met at the bar. I warned him that I was on my period, but he said it was fine. Not only was the sex awful, I woke up to find that he'd smeared period blood on my face in the dark. FML I agree, your life sucks 4800 You deserved it 6992 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Relevance - United States Today, my husband fell for an online scam leaving us 1450.00 in the negative. We get paid tomorrow and most of our money is going to cover that debt. FML I agree, your life sucks 35001 You deserved it 7778 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mala_19 - 19/9/2020 14:02 - Sweden The joy of newborn babies Today, after I, my fiance, and the doctors tried all day to get my son to eat for more than just three minutes straight, he decided to eat for thirty minutes straight in the middle of the night when I just wanted to sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 956 You deserved it 200 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unknown - Canada Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML I agree, your life sucks 477 You deserved it 4469 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By smileytheface - United States Today, my car got stolen. While I was standing ten feet away from it. FML I agree, your life sucks 28659 You deserved it 7155 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jex - United Kingdom - London Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML I agree, your life sucks 38750 You deserved it 4252 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JimmyJazzNJ - United States Today, I was giving a tour on campus when one of my friends approached us and said "Don't go here, the weed's too expensive." and walked away. Thinking he's coming back to say he's joking, he instead says "Just kidding, its really cheap." and walked away. I may or may not still have a job. FML I agree, your life sucks 50703 You deserved it 5080 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Guatemala Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML I agree, your life sucks 38009 You deserved it 3164 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stuck - Australia Today, because the two other managers decided to go on a spa day together, I had to stay at work despite the fact I spent most of the day throwing up in the bathroom. They called me to say what a good day they had. FML I agree, your life sucks 30202 You deserved it 2894 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By godhatesme - United States Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 7587 You deserved it 36677 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my wife is still not pregnant, but her sister is after the threesome we all had a few months ago. The threesome was my wife's idea, but I suspect I am still a dead man when it comes to whose fault it is. FML I agree, your life sucks 2565 You deserved it 4987 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By staringisrude - United States Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML I agree, your life sucks 9261 You deserved it 64521 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I was supposed to work with this girl I really like but I had the flu really bad. I really really wanted to see her so I forced myself out of bed and went to work feeling terrible but determined to see her face. When I got to work I asked where she was. She had called in sick with the flu. FML I agree, your life sucks 39945 You deserved it 17709 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stephhh055 - United States - Portland Valid reason Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML I agree, your life sucks 2294 You deserved it 236 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Thistle - United States Today, I filled out an application at WalMart after being unable to find a job in three months. I just graduated from law school. With honors. FML I agree, your life sucks 54515 You deserved it 5103 181 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Sri Lanka - Piliyandala Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said it was because my mom's lazy eye creeps him out, and that my dad hates him. She doesn't have a lazy eye, he's never met my dad, never seen my mom, and now according to his friends, he's been cheating on me for the past two weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 33958 You deserved it 2534 155 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Taurus_ChicKa | 36 #7555137 - Saturday 21 October 2017 6:06 If that was my kid, I'd tell him to get up and walk. Send a private message 6 0 Reply
By Taurus_ChicKa | 36 #7555137 - Saturday 21 October 2017 6:06 If that was my kid, I'd tell him to get up and walk. Send a private message 6 0 Reply
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with a meth dealer I just met online. Of course this occurred at his place, since he's on home detention for drug trafficking... I agree, your life sucks 17 You deserved it 131 2 Comments
Today, I tried pouring water on myself like in Coyote Ugly to the song "Pour Some Sugar On Me." I ended up waterboarding myself and I didn’t stop until... I agree, your life sucks 66 You deserved it 334 5 Comments