Just Hanging On

By FML Approved - 20/10/2017 20:30

It'll get better. Eventually.

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 103

Walk the line

Our house, in the middle of our street

This Charming Man

Noise Annoys

By Anonymous - 22/08/2019 06:04

Today, at three in the morning, I rolled out of bed in my sleep, landing butt-first into my trash can and scraping my arm on my bedside table. I cleaned up the mess I'd made and tried to stop my arm from bleeding. During which, my dad banged on the door and told me to keep it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 483

You deserved it 184

Family man

By Anonymous - 28/12/2020 14:01

Today, I always hated not having a boyfriend during holidays, my relatives would always ask me what was wrong with me. I'm married now and my husband always finds a way to skip holiday reunions. My relatives keep on asking me what's wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 157

Brain fart Andy over here

By Anonymous - 17/08/2021 16:01 - Italy

Today, as I was getting dressed after a shower, I spent a good 30 seconds searching for my underwear… which I'd already put on at that point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 281

By EmDa - 21/04/2011 14:44 - India

Today, I ran into a guy who I was completely in love with for months. After a couple of minutes, I realised he totally bores me senseless. What a waste of 4 months obsessing over that shithead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 715

You deserved it 64 782

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 322

You deserved it 50 627

Traditions suck

By Anonymous - 22/01/2021 17:01 - Australia

Today, my fiance told me that his father would need to check my hymen is intact to ensure I'm pure before we get married. This is a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 149

By ThatsIncentive - 15/12/2016 01:59 - United States - Granite Bay

Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 905

You deserved it 1 117

By Anonymous - 13/08/2014 11:33 - Australia - Rooty Hill

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 583

You deserved it 4 001

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 12:54 - Australia

Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 524

You deserved it 4 961

Helicopter parents

By that girl. - 06/06/2012 05:26 - United States

Today, instead of having my friends come pick me up, my dad drove me over to visit them. He insisted on walking me up to the door, hugging me goodbye, and making sure my friends were appropriate enough to hang out with. I'm in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 439

You deserved it 3 528

By Anonymous - 03/02/2010 00:01 - United States

Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 538

You deserved it 5 736

By dumass - 27/09/2014 02:23 - United States - Columbus

Today, the day before my wife and I leave for our 1 year anniversary trip, I realized my passport expires in 2014, not 2015. Instead of a week's stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, we'll be spending three days in Louisville. Three angry days in Louisville. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 536

You deserved it 21 101

By "Growlithe1395" - 11/03/2017 16:00

Today, I finally got my hands on a Nintendo Switch. While unboxing it, I left the room to get a pair of scissors. When I came back, most of the box contents were missing and my little brother was standing there. It has been about 5 hours and I still haven't been able to find anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 548

You deserved it 578

By whoops - 15/08/2016 04:07 - United States - Huntingdon

Today, I admitted to my girlfriend that I had cheated on her. She didn't tell or get mad, oh no. She looked at me for a few seconds then burst out laughing and called me a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 802

You deserved it 13 876

By Michelle - 04/08/2009 17:31 - United States

Today, I turned on my boyfriend's computer and saw pictures of all of my credit cards, front and back, and several of my parent's credit cards. I looked in his e-mail and found receipts for items which had been billed to me and delivered to him, including golf clubs and my birthday gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 933

You deserved it 6 455

By treehouse - 23/08/2017 13:00

Today, my family and I were going to start moving into our old house, and the large two hundred year old tree decided to move in too... through the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 473

You deserved it 196

Ninja!

By Anonymous - 13/09/2019 06:02 - Australia - Perth

Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 707

You deserved it 100

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 11:29 - Netherlands

Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 638

You deserved it 3 812

By Starving Student - 17/05/2012 03:42 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I got a ticket for panhandling to get gas money so that I could both drive out to a job interview AND still have enough gas to pick up my dad. Apparently, these particular cops had nothing better to do than harass me for standing quietly next to a freeway entrance with a silly sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 070

You deserved it 28 832

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 178

By Why Me - 12/08/2015 13:50 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 326

You deserved it 2 858

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, a guy at work was ranking the girls we work with in the order he'd want to date them. He told me I was 6th "because personality is important, too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 033

You deserved it 5 403

By spitballer1 - 06/07/2009 16:54 - United States

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 133

You deserved it 29 011

By textfail - 28/02/2009 17:03 - United States

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 025

You deserved it 103 936

By KnuckleSandwich - 20/07/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 583

You deserved it 3 740

By CasperTheFriendlyGhost - 14/07/2016 17:11 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 636

You deserved it 1 297

By liz - 16/07/2010 19:45 - United States

Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 286

You deserved it 18 319

By Anonymous - 10/09/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 125

You deserved it 52 302

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 20:43 - Isle of Man

Today, I was lying on the sofa when the phone rang. I jumped up to answer in time. I knocked over my laptop, and kicked my guitar into a glass causing it to smash. It was a wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 581

You deserved it 11 865

By Oops - 26/10/2018 12:00

Today, I went commando for the first time at school. It went really well until gym class, when I got distracted and changed like I normally do. I didn’t realize my mistake until my friends started laughing. I accidentally stripped in front of my whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 2 811

By Anonymous - 15/02/2017 01:00 - Spain - Las Palmas

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the airport for some much needed vacation time. We arrived on time but were stopped at the gate when they told me I didn't have the right passport. The plane left without me. My girlfriend did too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 563

You deserved it 1 268

By Hotdamnthisismyjam - 16/06/2009 00:32 - Canada

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest ugliest man at the table looks me over then stares at my chest. He then starts to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 045

You deserved it 6 586

By people suck - 28/03/2015 04:16 - United States - Oakland

Today, while at work, a customer refused to speak louder, despite me asking her to do it several times. As a result, I took her order incorrectly. The customer then finally decided to raise her voice, but only to yell at me about my poor listening skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 314

You deserved it 2 504

Slippery when wet

By anonymous - 03/01/2017 01:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 599

You deserved it 1 651

By anonymous - 22/09/2010 05:38 - United States

Today, my dad gave me a twenty minute lecture about responsibility and how lazy he considers me to be. He then yelled at me for not making his bed and getting his clothes off the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 825

You deserved it 2 532

By Pox - 04/02/2011 03:19 - United States

Today, I got chickenpox. I'm 28 and having chickenpox as an adult is excruciatingly painful. When I told my boss I wasn't going to be at work today because of chickenpox he replied, "That's the worst excuse I've ever heard. Adults don't get chickenpox." He then fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 396

You deserved it 2 980

By Paige - 26/12/2011 06:35 - United States

Today, my parents gave me an iPhone. They then checked my grades online, and promptly took it away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 183

You deserved it 52 140

The nerve of some people

By evecharneco - 25/05/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, it's been a few months since got fired from a job I'd spent two years at. Before getting fired, I trained the entire new staff, and to this day they still message me for help, even though I was fired months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 78

By Pizza-less - 04/09/2011 04:16 - United States

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 560

You deserved it 7 993

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 13:08 - United States

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 883

You deserved it 14 091

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Send a private message

Saturday 21 October 2017 6:06

If that was my kid, I'd tell him to get up and walk.

Comments

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Send a private message

Saturday 21 October 2017 6:06

If that was my kid, I'd tell him to get up and walk.

Nearly

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 47

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 26

Spicy

Today, I found out on Facebook that my mom and step-dad have an open marriage. To make matters worse, my step-dad shamed me for not being more sex positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 141

Today, I found out why my husband faked being sick on Thanksgiving. He was invited to Thanksgiving dinner by to the coworker he’s seeing. She was planning to introduce him to her family. He never told her he was married, so knowing I would tag along if he came, he faked having a “fever” so he couldn’t go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 47