Miscellaneous: Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against...

By mainlineloser - 28/11/2014 05:25 - United States - Narberth

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 457

You deserved it 3 347

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Same thing different taste

By lovingthis - 09/01/2013 16:48 - United States - Largo

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 188

You deserved it 5 239

By waltzy777 - 26/04/2009 08:12 - United States

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 607

You deserved it 83 016

Grandma rocks!

By Anonymous - 20/04/2014 21:38 - Slovenia - Domzale

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 479

You deserved it 5 191

By fuck you, gran - 09/03/2013 00:38 - United States - Ashland

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 078

You deserved it 4 084

Every little helps

By Anonymous - 21/04/2020 17:00

Today, I found out that my grandmother desecrated my grandfather's grave. 14 years after his death, she dug up his body and had him cremated so that she could sell his plot back to the cemetery for money. I was the one who found out so I had to tell the rest of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 906

You deserved it 203

By HatedGrandson - 07/01/2013 00:50 - United States

Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 640

You deserved it 2 161

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 586

You deserved it 22 034

By Anonymous - 24/05/2009 01:41 - United States

Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 754

You deserved it 4 028

Sorry grandma

By Anonymous - 22/04/2021 17:01

Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 141

By Anonymous - 25/12/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for my family. I got a huge paper cut on the webbing of my fingers, the pain of which caused me to scream out loud. My whole family heard and came rushing to my room. My grandma took one look, and scoffed, "Oh suck it the fuck up, princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 846

You deserved it 30 089

Dillyduzit 23

Friday 28 November 2014 9:25

Nutrients.

sarah5745 41

Friday 28 November 2014 9:26

You'd have been better off without that piece of information. Thanks grandma..

Comments

seninaa 27

Friday 28 November 2014 9:36

I heard that it helps the growth

splash69_fml 14

Friday 28 November 2014 9:37

That would make me BURY my head in my hands in embarrassment--- No? Ok I'll leave now...

hard_candy 25

Friday 28 November 2014 9:52

or bury your head in the ground. like an ostrich. just don't go thinking you can find OP's foreskin now.

ckerane 16

Friday 28 November 2014 9:49

I feel sick

vikky538 28

Friday 28 November 2014 9:49

now you know why those roses are like that....

xxughmylifexx 15

Friday 28 November 2014 9:58

There's a lot more cards to play, and she's got a lifetime of stories to tell. Gl

clumsylobster 17

Friday 28 November 2014 10:20

That must have cut you

veroonicaaggg 10

Friday 28 November 2014 10:47

why would they keep it?

ZevVeli 10

Monday 1 December 2014 4:44

I may be mistaken about this, but I'm fairly certain that part of ritualistic circumcision in Judaism (if there are any Jewish commenters who know differently please correct me I am just an ignorant Gentile trying to develop my cultural understanding) is to bury the foreskin underneath of a plant.