On the bright side, at least it wasn't your girlfriend

Or maybe she was dreaming of a white Christmas.

"Thanks for this delicious penis you've bestowed upon my mouth!"

I tried this and it burned, should I call a priest?

#11, I wouldn't. He might try to perform an exorcism on you.

Or altar boy you!

I think it burned because it wasn't purified properly. The best way to get pure Holy Water is to really boil the Hell out of it!

Or using brain bleach works just as well

#57 you should really have way more likes.

She got a tooth brush??

Where did you ever get your amazing detective skills?

No, the girlfriend sucks.

like ur butthole?

Clarification: I was originally going to say what #10 said. (They hadn't posted it yet, when I started typing -- look at the time stamp...) When I clicked "validate", a couple of new posts were there and I saw that our posts were almost exactly the same, so I rushed to change it to something different, but couldn't think of anything new in the two minutes or so that they allow you to make changes.