Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I had a horrible stomach flu and was well into my second hour of dry heaving when I heard my husband knock on the bathroom door. I was touched that he was worried about me, until I heard, "Honey, what did you make for dinner?" FML
Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML
Today, my wife caught me crying over her miscarriage and she started yelling and screaming at me to "man up" because she should be the sad one, not me. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML
Today, I am two months pregnant. Being super hormonal, I was crying about how much I was crying. My husband put his arms around me to comfort me, and I sobbed so hard that I threw up all over him. FML
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
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Top comments
caticaticati 3
F your life, your husband has a sense of humor and wanted to make you laugh when you were upset.
FaiIedAtLife 0
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Comments (126)
redbluegreen 41
I'm just a bowl full of oranges. Especially when it comes to my opinions on asshattery. I love you too, my favorite little cookie. (;
redbluegreen 41
BRB EXPLODING INTO RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS!
_Damien_ 0
Slap in the face.
ChEeYaH24 0
oh please. put your big girl panties on and get over it
quietlytearful 0
that's so cute! stop complaining op, he was just being nice.
imdeborah 0
hahaha my sister does that all the time.
famouslastwords_fml 0
If I were your husband, but I can't cause I am a girl. I would have tried and understand you. I would've gone to the bathroom and hold your hair. I would have sympathized, unlike SOMEONE who would actually yell at his wife when the call of nature calls her!
theblazian 0
Good point! I just coughed alot so I'm going to go call my girlfriend in hopes of some sympathy. Nevermind she is probably at work or in class and that I physically want or need nothing..... the fact that I coughed a lot and am sick should result in her immediately dropping everything and consoling me for as long as I needed. And god dammit I will cry if I want to.
ChihiruLee 0
Are you pregnant? Then we can blame this on hormones and not disown you from the big girl club. Sucks your sick but unless it was for medicine, then grow up a little. But I think it is awesome you feel close enough to your husband that you can share vomit stories and make jokes about it.
cindybuzz 5
At least he was trying to cheer you up. ******* appreciate it. That's exactly the kinda thing my bloke would say. And I'm sure he wasn't quite as unsympathetic as OP makes out.
Strictly 0
I agree with No1,