Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had a horrible stomach flu and was well into my second hour of dry heaving when I heard my husband knock on the bathroom door. I was touched that he was worried about me, until I heard, "Honey, what did you make for dinner?" FML
Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML
Today, my wife caught me crying over her miscarriage and she started yelling and screaming at me to "man up" because she should be the sad one, not me. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML
Today, I am two months pregnant. Being super hormonal, I was crying about how much I was crying. My husband put his arms around me to comfort me, and I sobbed so hard that I threw up all over him. FML
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
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Top comments
caticaticati 3
F your life, your husband has a sense of humor and wanted to make you laugh when you were upset.
FaiIedAtLife 0
Attention seeker?
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Comments (126)
kBzee 3
You called him cuz you threw up? Why? If I was your man i'd be annoyed as hell, it's annoying to get phone calls at work for stupid crap...YDI grow up.
SupaSteveXpz 0
lool he's funny
MidgetMonster 0
psh I don't want anybody near me if I'm blowing chunks, that's gross. give me privacy, that is my sympathy. er
NoteMyGrin 0
I like him. (:
rightwrite528 0
So? Obviously he was just joking. And if you don't notice that then go sit in a corner and piss and moan to your cat. Don't write bullshit like that on FML.
cocopuff96 0
y is this an FML? some1 explain?
Tahsis 4
Hey, bitches, get a life and stop having a conversation on the comments page. At the very least, use the PM feature, so I guess your also dumb. STFU, noone cares.
containsnosoy 0
So... apparently you whine a lot and he's tired of babying you. I can't blame him, I wouldn't want to have to babysit my wife either. My second guess would be that you want attention/sympathy over so much but aren't willing to do the same for your husband. Think outside of yourself for a second, ay?
Tahsis 4
G-Nazi - The last quoted sentence should either have a "?" at the end (it's a rhetorical question he's asking) or an interrobang, but you might not be able to insert those in posts. I guess this disproves that - ‽. So next time, use an interrobang.
sami1994 0
My new favorite person ^ ^
redbluegreen 41
I laugh in general, sugar. There are many worse things in the comment section than a few friendly exchanges. There is a "reply" feature for a reason.