Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone interview...

By Anonymous - 25/7/2014 02:04 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone interview with a company. Excited, I prepared for the interview and conducted extensive research on the company. The interview ended within a minute. They'd got the wrong person. FML

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Work

Season finale

Assumptions

Everyone's an expert

By assoutofuandme - 14/2/2013 07:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

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By Gabriela - 23/11/2011 01:00

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

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By Eganstein - 24/11/2012 23:11 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

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By em from Cali - 28/7/2012 08:07 - United States - Visalia

Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML

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By very punny - 3/9/2014 03:18 - United States - Odenton

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

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By GrLifeusx - 8/3/2009 04:03 - United States

Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I forgot my cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/11/2015 15:12

Today, we had a great night out with my girlfriend and even won a costume contest together. I guess I wasn't the only one who had a great night, because when I got home I found that someone had robbed my apartment. FML

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By deservedly - 9/6/2014 16:28 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I clogged the only toilet at work. Thinking I could escape and blame someone else, I opened the door, only to see a line of people waiting outside. FML

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By mybmw - 14/10/2009 10:39 - United States

Today, was my mom's birthday. I recently got my first job, thanks to her, and could finally afford to buy her something nice. I spent my first paycheck ever on buying her a very nice bracelet. She said it was nice, then asked if I would mind if she exchanged it for one she actually liked. FML

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By EveOnRoad - 5/5/2019 18:00

Today, my boyfriend of 9 years rode with his mother after boot camp graduation. She acts more like a jealous lover than a mom, so I'm currently chasing them all over Chicago in a blizzard, with her refusing to stop the car so he can see me. FML

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By anon - 14/1/2013 03:00 - United States - Dublin

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

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By Alex - 16/1/2009 09:40 - United States

Today, I decided to ride my bike to the bus stop to go to school. I wasn't even half way and the last bus had already left. I figured I would loop around instead of going back the way I came and ended up riding 16 miles before I got home. FML

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By CaptainSosuke - 27/1/2009 01:54 - United States

Today, I tripped over my own shoelace after explaining to my boyfriend that my shoes being untied were good luck for me. He then took that as the grand opportunity to tell me that we were breaking up. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 00:01 - United States - Austin

Denied

Today, an Air Force recruiter called me. I've been wanting to join the Air Force for 5 years now. After chatting on the phone with him for 10 minutes, I mentioned to him that I had asthma. He quickly told me I can't join any of the military branches, and to have a good day. FML

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By Sad ex-wife - 21/9/2012 15:11 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML

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By 5minsolder - 8/2/2011 01:21 - United States

Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML

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By Anonymous - 12/4/2013 09:24 - Australia

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

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By Rubyscooby212 - 15/2/2015 04:07 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, alone on Valentine's day, I decided to eat chocolate and watch romantic comedies in bed. I had an allergic reaction to the chocolate which sent me to the ER. FML

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By omfgfmlife - 5/7/2011 14:32 - United States

Today, my mother insisted I thoroughly water all the plants in and around my house before some people turned up. This would be fine except 90% of them are fake. She is convinced it will make them look "realer." FML

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By Anonymous - 5/7/2012 15:46

Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only female out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML

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By e.middlechild - 13/6/2009 12:15 - United States

Today, I finally got enough courage to ask out this girl that I've liked for a year. While we were out at lunch, she ran into her ex that she had just broken up with. They then had a long conversation about their relationship, and ended up getting back together. She was my ride home. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/12/2013 20:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I canceled my Gamefly account. Seems that was the only thing keeping us together. FML

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By royalscenery - 27/10/2010 21:58 - Canada

Today, after discussing the side-effects of an insomnia aid, my doctor said that making a choice was naturally a difficult one, and that he would only prescribe it to me once I'd had "a good, long sleep on it". He then laughed out loud and called in the next patient. FML

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By moneymoneymoney - 8/10/2013 14:34 - United States - Tampa

Today, my financial troubles got so bad, I contemplated visiting a friend simply so I could swipe their deodorant. FML

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By babysitter - 6/1/2011 05:57 - United States

Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML

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By thissucks - 14/9/2009 01:00 - United States

Today, after finishing a three-page essay for my spanish class, I went to rip up my brainstorming paper in an act of triumph. After I finished ripping it up, I looked on my desk to see my brainstorming paper fully intact, and my essay torn into bits. FML

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By SJDAOisdjlkSADlksda - 2/7/2016 02:37 - United States

Today, I witnessed my sister use some ice cubes on her blistered toes, then quietly return them to the tray in the fridge. I've been putting ice from there into my drinks for weeks. FML

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By PissNTra - 19/7/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML

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By Odnel - 27/7/2013 04:47 - United States - Arlington

Today, my family and I visited my cousins in Virginia. When we arrived, we found that they already had guests over. I've stuttered my whole life, so when they asked me what my name was, I stuttered for several seconds trying to say my name. Everyone burst out laughing. FML

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By lovehaterelationship - 10/3/2014 18:43 - Austria - Graz

Today, I had to study for an important test but I could barely focus because my roommate had his music blasting at full volume. Since we get along well, I decided to put up with it. I just found out he forgot to turn it off and left over 6 hours ago. FML

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By MsAnonymous17 - 26/5/2013 23:20 - United States

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

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By Anonymous - 30/6/2019 12:12

Today, my son got an email saying he could win an iPad if he just entered his credit card number. He asked for mine, telling me that it was so he could buy some school supplies online, so I gave it to him. The internet just conned a credit card number out of a 17-year-old nitwit. And me. FML

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By anonymous - 26/5/2016 03:45 - United States - Boise

Today, the first thing I noticed about my blind date was the clump of nose hairs sticking out and mingling with his beard. In an effort to not stare, I periodically glanced away. After a while, he asked which guy I was into at the table next to us, because I was spending so much time looking in that direction. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/3/2012 18:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I went with my friends to see a movie. I handed my student card over to the cashier as proof I was old enough to see it, and he started laughing hysterically at my picture. Then he called over a colleague, who also started laughing. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/10/2015 14:29 - United States - Atwater

Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML

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By ShiriSarah - 20/8/2009 14:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

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By klsdhjla - 15/2/2010 01:23 - United States

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

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By Anonymous - 7/7/2009 11:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I queued up for few hours in torrential rain to see the Harry Potter premiere. After just four hours sleep and waking at 3am, I fell asleep during film and missed the whole thing. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/1/2017 16:00 - United States - Rochester

Today, as I listened to the guy I've been seeing pour his heart out to me, all I could think about was how much I needed to poop. FML

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By donnap - 9/6/2012 05:54 - United States - North Highlands

Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML

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Top comments

By CaiDog | 20

#6018635 - Friday 25 July 2014 12:30

At least that one minute went well? Maybe if they don't like the other guy, they'll call you up again!

By Dinoman105 | 10

#6018636 - Friday 25 July 2014 12:30

correction, YOU didn't get the wrong job! joke's on them

COMMENTS

By CaiDog | 20

#6018635 - Friday 25 July 2014 12:30

At least that one minute went well? Maybe if they don't like the other guy, they'll call you up again!

brivielle | 15

#6018733 - Friday 25 July 2014 15:19

if OP didn't apply for the job how was he hoping it was his interview? That kinda luck is pretty rare..

v8nick97 | 11

#6018736 - Friday 25 July 2014 15:24

OP had applied for the job, but they accidentally called him instead of one of the other guys that applied. How else could they have known his name and phone number?

By Dinoman105 | 10

#6018636 - Friday 25 July 2014 12:30

correction, YOU didn't get the wrong job! joke's on them

alaen23 | 23

#6018770 - Friday 25 July 2014 16:26

It's always nice to have great enthusiasm. Hope OP finally finds a job.

By silveronica5 | 12

#6018637 - Friday 25 July 2014 12:31

Aw it's okay, good luck finding a jov

CaiDog | 20

#6018640 - Friday 25 July 2014 12:32

Could be hard, I heard jovs are hard to find

spatula232 | 25

#6018643 - Friday 25 July 2014 12:38

Yeah well I've never heard of a jov before so good luck. But I'm pretty sure he meant job... And they're a little easier to come by

zZLightZz | 13

#6018646 - Friday 25 July 2014 12:44

it was a typo.

shudson186 | 17

#6018876 - Friday 25 July 2014 18:18

Not really... If you want a minimum wage job maybe. For those who want career choices they are very rare to come by.

By darwinism | 30

#6018638 - Friday 25 July 2014 12:31

Think of it as "research training for job interviews". Keep your head up, it will come soon enough OP.

By cakefete2 | 30

#6018639 - Friday 25 July 2014 12:32

Sorry it didn't work out, but that level of preparation and readiness will serve well when you do have a legitimate interview.

spatula232 | 25

#6018644 - Friday 25 July 2014 12:40

cakefete2's non troll comment

By DocBastard | 38

#6018648 - Friday 25 July 2014 12:45

Nah, they just told you that had the wrong guy. Actually, they were terrified of your anal over-preparation and ended the interview prematurely.

People like you make all the under-achievers look bad.

amisenho | 11

#6018826 - Friday 25 July 2014 17:04

Well, OP didn't get that job in the other FML because she was obviously coached through the interview process. I knew it; mediocrity in the job market is where it's at these days.

By Ninjin1986 | 23

#6018651 - Friday 25 July 2014 12:52

That sucks and getting your hopes up is even worse than just being rejected right away. But you wouldn't want to work for a company that unorganized anyway, right?! Good job for preparing though and good luck for your future job search!

By zZLightZz | 13

#6018653 - Friday 25 July 2014 12:53

this is just sad but tis reality for many of us.

By 91hayek | 31

#6018654 - Friday 25 July 2014 12:55

I respect your ambition and hustle OP. If anything you have motivated me to not waste my weekend. All the best with the job search!

By slyde32 | 12

#6018656 - Friday 25 July 2014 13:02

don't worry, op. I went ages without employment despite trying very hard to get something, anything, now I've got about three job offers all at once, something will come up in time, just keep at it!