Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, after my wife gave birth to another of our daughters, she announced that this was the last one. When I reminded her I still needed a son to carry on my name, she replied, "Well, you've got four girls. You want a boy? Birth him yourself!" FML
Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm expecting our second child. He ripped up the sonogram and yelled at me to "fucking get rid of it" while jabbing me in the chest. FML
Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML
Today, I got a call from my husband, saying that he wants a divorce, he’s been seeing his colleague and that she’s more compatible to him. I’ve just given birth to out first child. He told me, "Aww, good luck with that." FML
Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML
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Top comments
greenie213 23
"As soon as the penis grows in sir."
tygerarmy 35
Girls can be circumcised, but all forms of circumcision are outdated. But why are you surprised, you had a baby with this guy?
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Comments (108)
hatesfate 6
Because its a comment where the only possible way to take things is in a literal sense
ebethsuperstar 2
I love how an innocent silly moment between a man and wife becomes fodder for every insecure, uncircumcised guy to start quoting their Wikipedia research on the horrors of circumcision in order to validate their own germy, unsightly penises. As a woman, I have to say that a little snip as a baby is a small price to pay for a clean, anatomically pleasing penis versus all the pain of waxing, cramps, childbirth, etc that women go through. So FYL to all the whiners!
FashionMMXII 6
Lol Honest Mistake?
Jmotore 3
Loser. Pathetic
monokuma 0
You can circumsize a girl too
katydid91 31
Ugh, being a member of the female race, I winced at the thought
shamille 5
HOLD UP, LET ME CALL MY HOMIES IN SOMALILAND AND FIND OUT.
IBeLightning 0
Did he hear the doctor when they said it was a girl,did you both find out the gender before you gave birth?If not ,I think you should know its not the easiest thing in the world to tell a newborn baby boy from a new born baby girl
sulitak 27
maybe he had a dumb moment
lovelylady2016 6
You actually can circumcise a girl, but it's an extremely cruel thing to do. You basically cut off the lips and sew up her pussy until there's only a small hole for period blood and urine to pass through. It takes away all sexual pleasure and makes reproducing very painful.
galactictoast13 22
i don't even want to know why you know that or felt the need to share it