Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML
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Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, after my wife gave birth to another of our daughters, she announced that this was the last one. When I reminded her I still needed a son to carry on my name, she replied, "Well, you've got four girls. You want a boy? Birth him yourself!" FML
Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm expecting our second child. He ripped up the sonogram and yelled at me to "fucking get rid of it" while jabbing me in the chest. FML
Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML
Today, I got a call from my husband, saying that he wants a divorce, he’s been seeing his colleague and that she’s more compatible to him. I’ve just given birth to out first child. He told me, "Aww, good luck with that." FML
Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML
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Top comments
greenie213 23
"As soon as the penis grows in sir."
tygerarmy 35
Girls can be circumcised, but all forms of circumcision are outdated. But why are you surprised, you had a baby with this guy?
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Comments (108)
Donat96 20
I wouldn't recommend female circumcision. Or even the male kind, for that matter.
Razi_tail 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why would you not recommend a male circumcision? It keeps him much cleaner and healthier than leaving the foreskin. If you don't clean it well enough each time it can cause painful infections.
EyesofStone 27
Can we not have this argument again?
1happymummy 14
In england hardly any men are circumsised, which in my opinion is a good thing!
hisgirlherboy 5
19, it is usually has to do with your culture. I know a lot of jewish people circumcise their children.
greenie213 23
In Judaism, you can't get to heaven without circumcision. It's shows your sacrifice for God.
alfred07 18
There are some birth defects which require circumcision to fix.
Keevarou 17
What would god even do with all that skin?>.< Maybe that's his way of recycling humans
Razi_tail 25
Surprise! Your baby boy turned into a girl the moment he came out!
olpally 33
Really??? Punch him in the head for being a moron... Lol
CallMeMcFeelii 14
He was probably in the moment and wasn't thinking straight. But congrats on your baby. Hopefully it has all 10 fingers and toes.
unknown_user5566 27
I'm sure he was just overwhelmed with the excitement of having your first child... I'd imagine I would be a little scatter brained in that situation, too.
unknown_user5566 27
"Get it transgendered", are you serious? I am going to take a wild guess and assume you have no idea what the word "transgender" means.
GoddamnBatman 7
Congratulations, makeitrain123! Your comment was the dumbest comment I´ve ever read on this site so far, be proud!
CoconutOil 7
Guesses gone wild!
ICastillo 25
It was a legit question. He probably thought the umbilical cord was the penis.
flutter4 7
Maybe
ICastillo 25
#38 I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I'm thinking he is just dumb.
geeves1097 3
Oh God, and you let him breed?
KiddNYC1O 22
You're in no position to ask that, Patrick!
Lichinamo 33
43: Best. Comment. Ever.