Kids: Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked...

By Anonymous - 29/10/2012 10:32 - United States - Levelland

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 792

You deserved it 2 706

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Lennyr - 28/08/2016 06:36 - United States - Union City

Today, I gave birth to my first born child. Somehow, my mom and mother in law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother in law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 540

You deserved it 1 093

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 02:43 - United States - Titusville

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 250

You deserved it 3 525

By you ripped them off ages ago - 17/08/2014 06:15 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 044

You deserved it 16 318

By Chester (Seattle) - 09/09/2010 02:15 - United States

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 937

You deserved it 5 819

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 14:00

Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 187

By Naomi - 10/11/2013 10:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 547

You deserved it 4 912

Asshat

By Julissa - 25/02/2021 00:30

Today, I got a call from my husband, saying that he wants a divorce, he’s been seeing his colleague and that she’s more compatible to him. I’ve just given birth to out first child. He told me, "Aww, good luck with that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 869

You deserved it 116

By mickey1928 - 12/01/2010 13:10

Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 960

You deserved it 2 896

911 what's your emergency?

By midwify - 05/01/2015 17:58 - Denmark - Asaa

Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 296

You deserved it 7 673

By Anonymous - 08/11/2017 13:00 - United States

Today, during the birth of my first child, my epidural didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 166

You deserved it 475

greenie213 23

Monday 29 October 2012 18:50

"As soon as the penis grows in sir."

tygerarmy 35

Monday 29 October 2012 18:47

Girls can be circumcised, but all forms of circumcision are outdated. But why are you surprised, you had a baby with this guy?

Comments

Donat96 20

Monday 29 October 2012 18:51

I wouldn't recommend female circumcision. Or even the male kind, for that matter.

Razi_tail 25

Monday 29 October 2012 18:55

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

EyesofStone 27

Monday 29 October 2012 19:00

Can we not have this argument again?

1happymummy 14

Monday 29 October 2012 19:41

In england hardly any men are circumsised, which in my opinion is a good thing!

hisgirlherboy 5

Monday 29 October 2012 20:40

19, it is usually has to do with your culture. I know a lot of jewish people circumcise their children.

greenie213 23

Monday 29 October 2012 22:27

In Judaism, you can't get to heaven without circumcision. It's shows your sacrifice for God.

alfred07 18

Monday 29 October 2012 22:31

There are some birth defects which require circumcision to fix.

Keevarou 17

Monday 29 October 2012 22:32

What would god even do with all that skin?>.< Maybe that's his way of recycling humans

Razi_tail 25

Monday 29 October 2012 18:53

Surprise! Your baby boy turned into a girl the moment he came out!

olpally 32

Monday 29 October 2012 18:53

Really??? Punch him in the head for being a moron... Lol

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Monday 29 October 2012 18:54

He was probably in the moment and wasn't thinking straight. But congrats on your baby. Hopefully it has all 10 fingers and toes.

unknown_user5566 26

Monday 29 October 2012 18:54

I'm sure he was just overwhelmed with the excitement of having your first child... I'd imagine I would be a little scatter brained in that situation, too.