Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML
Today, my mother complained all day while I'm trying to work from home. I started getting chest pains from the stress of everything having to be perfect or she has one of her meltdowns. FML
Today, my mom heard on TV that teens need at least ten hours of sleep a day. Now she makes me go to bed at 7pm. I told her I can't finish my homework in time, and my grades will suffer. She wouldn't listen. Last week, she threatened to punish me if I don't get straight As this semester. FML
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Today, I complained to my parents about chest pains. My mom said, "For fuck’s sake, it’s our day off. Can we just have ONE day without your drama?" Turns out, I was actually having a heart attack. She still won’t apologize, and is in fact mad at me for having a heart attack on her day off. FML
Today, it seems that I can't enjoy one fucking weekend without my mom finding work for me to do to take up my time, and I'm sick of it! FML
Today, my mom spent an hour lecturing me on how I'm a doormat who lets people walk all over me, and that I needed to be more assertive. So I stood up and told my dad, no, I am not going on that forestry camp he wants me to go to. Mom sat silently by as he screamed and grounded me for the entire summer. FML
Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MelTheGreat 23
Clone yourself.
evilplatypus 39
And? What's the problem with being grounded if you don't have any time for anything but school, homework and your job? It sounds like if you're grounded things will be just as you need them.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (206)
chengy4191 7
Just be grounded so you can get ur shit done god damn it's not the end of the world YDB (you damn brat)
vettle 6
You should always make time for exercise. You'll thank her later when you're not a big fatty.
CaptainNaaws 0
What's the point of being grounded if you don't have time to do anything?
silly__rabbitt 5
don't do the yoga and get grounded to your room with your homework lol
MKerr95 0
If you don't have time to do anything else, being grounded shouldn't bother you too much.
emily3257 3
Apparently you have enough time to go on FML though, right? Better start that yoga.
gadget593 2
With your life, it probably doesn't matter if you're grounded anyway.
echo_of_shadows 14
Dude, why'd you have a job if you're still at school? Or at least one that prevents you from doing homework? FYL, but also YDI.
MetalMario38 9
It's called 'Saving for College'.
BiggestTigger 2
Yoga will do next to nothing to help prevent heart disease. Avoid saturated and trans fats and too much salt. 30 min cardio 3+ times a week, moderate - high intensity and try to maintain a healthy weight. Stress reduction is perhaps the only way yoga could help, but that is not the biggest cause of heart disease.
ladybuglet 22
Yoga will do you good.