Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom dropped me off at a friend's house. Upon leaving, my friend's mom said how much I looked like my mother. My mother then replied, "That's funny, she was adopted." This was the first I'd heard of this. FML
Today, my mom told me that she had great news: we were going to meet my biological parents. I didn't know I was adopted. FML
Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML
Today, I met this girl who's perfect. Turns out, since I'm adopted, she might be my sister. FML
Today, after years of not speaking with my birth mother, I took a chance and stopped to talk to her when I saw her outside of her house. Five minutes into it, I knew I needed my hair recolored and that I'm out of shape, this all being said by a totally gray haired fat woman. FML
Today, when I was unpacking all of my stuff, my parents declared that they are going to live in Australia, and have found me a 'friend'. I am a 14 year old girl at boarding school, and my friend is my new foster mum. FML
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML
Today, my mother, who is 75 years-old, just told me and my sister that we were adopted. I'm 45 years-old and my sister is 49. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's entire extended family at a party. All of them, including his dad, said I looked exactly like his mum. FML
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Top comments
amrik 11
if I were you I would thank her for putting me up for adoption
nate_msm 0
it's neither op's mum ate it
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Comments (273)
zscher33 0
well at least you now know you american and not brit that's a big plus that came out of that
12345ag 3
If she were actually a fan, she would've realized by now that Robert Pattinson spends most of his time in America... but I am sorry! That does suck.
jimmyjim13 5
Only in america do you See that
awesomeabs 0
FYL sorry
guitaristkp 0
So fake it hurts. LMAO. Nice try you stupid brits!
alexg823 0
71- UK is now America?
Mattxy8 5
Why did you put American? is that a problem?
Sammara 0
Well, it sounds like she's going to spend the rest of her trip being the "ugly American" tourist stereotype (looking for celebrities rather than soaking in the history, for instance), so I think that's why the OP put it there. It could also just be that she was surprised that her biological mother was American. I wouldn't jump to conclusions about the OP's prejudices or lack thereof.
coltsluvr123 2
friggin twi-moms... they just ruin everything...
dansco 25
Bet you're glad you looked her up now! Forget about the nutter and say thanks to your parents who raised you ;)
TH3_B345T 0
what did the american thing have to do with anything... dont hate...