Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mom dropped me off at a friend's house. Upon leaving, my friend's mom said how much I looked like my mother. My mother then replied, "That's funny, she was adopted." This was the first I'd heard of this. FML
Today, my mom told me that she had great news: we were going to meet my biological parents. I didn't know I was adopted. FML
Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML
Today, I met this girl who's perfect. Turns out, since I'm adopted, she might be my sister. FML
Today, after years of not speaking with my birth mother, I took a chance and stopped to talk to her when I saw her outside of her house. Five minutes into it, I knew I needed my hair recolored and that I'm out of shape, this all being said by a totally gray haired fat woman. FML
Today, when I was unpacking all of my stuff, my parents declared that they are going to live in Australia, and have found me a 'friend'. I am a 14 year old girl at boarding school, and my friend is my new foster mum. FML
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML
Today, my mother, who is 75 years-old, just told me and my sister that we were adopted. I'm 45 years-old and my sister is 49. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's entire extended family at a party. All of them, including his dad, said I looked exactly like his mum. FML
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Top comments
amrik 11
if I were you I would thank her for putting me up for adoption
nate_msm 0
it's neither op's mum ate it
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Comments (273)
saturnsonic 3
yea yea fyl but what i wanna know is she single?
87sassysam 0
Just be thankful you didn't grow up with that!
Bloothebawss 9
all Americans are not like that. I'm sorry about that.
KattAlex 4
You do realize you are also American, well originally, since you were likely born in the United States? Sorry, that you got such a immature person as a biological mother but look on the bright side at least you didn't have to be raised by her. Also, not all Americans are like that so try not to stereotype them as you see her. It's truly not that bad it is just that the country is young, it's only 235 years old, and still trying to figure everything out along with our politicians not doing a good job at running it.
izok777 2
can i come?
relam 0
Team Jacob!!!!!
ofwglui 0
what happened to your dad??
Gotrees 0
Hey. What do you have agienst Americans??
RokNRoll11 9
real vampires don't sparkle your mom has got issues if she's obsessed
lunax_fml 14
..."real vampires" don't sparkle because they're aren't any "real" vampires. 9_9
andyj1324 4
i just dont see why twilight is such a big deal like serioudly girls! its just a guy wearing glitter!